115 – Warning: Matt Gets Fired Up

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In this episode, I go off the dome, and respond to critical feedback from two listeners.

Warning: I get fired up. 

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114 – Smart Phones, Smart TVs, and Whatever Comes Next

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I get a lot of questions these days about Smart Phones and Smart TVs.  Networked internet devices are the norm now. But they can also be a big threat to our sobriety.

In this episode, I share a powerful metaphor you can use when making decisions about smart devices and how they fit with your recovery goals.

1-on-1 Coaching

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113 – Becoming the type of man that does not look at porn

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"Becoming the type of man that does not look at porn."On this week’s episode, I share an a-ha moment from a PFR listener. Jon shares how he’s gotten to 81 days porn and masturbation free by making daily investment building his character.

He writes, “I am inhabiting a place of becoming the type of man that does not look at porn. Instead of; practicing behaviors that keep me from looking at porn.”

1-on-1 Coaching

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112 – Avoiding Failure

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Are you avoiding failure in your life? Are you trying to escape negative thoughts, feelings, or emotions?

This pattern of avoidance could be fueling your porn addiction and at the same time thwarting your recovery.

1-on-1 Coaching

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111 – The Top 3 Lies Partners Believe with Hope Ray

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Hope Ray is back! In this episode, we discuss the top 3 lies that partners believe when their husbands or boyfriend’s struggle with porn.

Hope first joined us in episodes 70 and 74 of Pornfree Radio. She specializes in working with partners and couples who are healing from the effects of porn and sex addiction.

Free Download from Hope
Partner’s Guide to Writing An Impact Letter by Hope Ray


REV Group Coaching: April Groups

REV group coaching is weekly group coaching for men. It’s confidential with high accountability. We meet through secure video conference.

Each group is led personally by me. And I bring my experience, coaching and leading men for over 12 years on every call.

Registration is closed. But a waiting list is available in case a spot opens up. Next REV will be July 2017.

Apply Now

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110 – Do I have to hit rock bottom to recover?

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In this episode, I unpack the good and bad news about hitting rock bottom.

The bad news is few people will be able to porn free unless they have hit rock bottom.
But I also have some really good news…

I also answer two burning questions from listeners.

 

REV Group Coaching: April Groups
REV group coaching is weekly group coaching for men. It’s confidential with high accountability. We meet through secure video conference.

Each group is led personally by me. And I bring my experience, coaching and leading men for over 12 years on every call.

Registration is now open for April groups. Register deadline: 3/24/2017.

Apply Now

1-on-1 Coaching

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Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

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109 – What we live for is more important than what we give up

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My inbox is full (again!) Time to answer your burning questions.

  • Are there any porn free sexual acts?
  • Do you have any advice or specific tips for those of us who wrestle with same-sex pornography?
  • How can I move forward with abstinent dating?
  • Help! I’ve been struggling to find a decent consequence for relapse.
  • Is it unreasonable for me to want to see my boyfriend’s phone?
  • What to do with extreme temptation?
  • And more!

Rev Group Coaching: April Groups

RELAPSEREVOLUTIONGROUPBonoREV group coaching is weekly group coaching for men. It’s confidential with high accountability. We meet through secure video conference.

Each group is led personally by me. And I bring my experience, coaching and leading men for over 12 years on every call.

Registration is now open for April groups. Register deadline: 3/24/2017.

Find Out More

1-on-1 Coaching

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108 – 110 Days Porn Free While Studying For The Bar Exam

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In this episode, we open the Pornfree mail bag, read your letters and answer questions like:

  • Any suggestions for parents of someone who doesn’t seem to want to fight to be porn free?
  • Do you have any advice for a depressed, porn-addicted teenager?
  • How can a recovering porn addict can engage in good self care at different phases of life?
  • Is it normal to be scared to give up porn?
  • How should Christians think about participation in a 12-step program alongside their faith practice?

Rev Group Coaching: April Groups

RELAPSEREVOLUTIONGROUPBonoREV group coaching is weekly group coaching for men. It’s confidential with high accountability. We meet through secure video conference.

Each group is led personally by me. And I bring my experience, coaching and leading men for over 12 years on every call.

Registration is now open for April Groups.
Find Out More

1-on-1 Coaching

Support Pornfree Radio

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

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107 – Back 2 Basics: The 7-Day Porn Free Plan

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In this episode, you’ll learn how to create a hyper focused 7-day recovery plan. This continues our “Back 2 Basics” series targeted at new listeners.

“To go porn free for a month, you have to go porn free for a week.”

The 7-Day Porn Free Plan

  1. On Sunday night, get a piece of blank paper or journal and your calendar.
  2. Answer the 10 writing prompts below for the following week.
  3. Schedule all recovery activities or actions you need to take on your weekly calendar.
  4. Commit your week to the person you identify.
  5. Each day, track your recovery activities and any powerful feelings.
  6. At the end the week have a F.A.S.T.T. Check-In with your partner.
  7. Commit the following week.

Weekly Writing Prompts:

1.  If I could live this week over again, I’d…

Fast forward 7 Days and think about this week from a future perspective. What would of made it great? What activities would you of like to have done? Who would you have liked to connect with?

2. Things I get to enjoy this week…

What do you get to this week? Where is the fun? What are you looking forward to?

3.) This week, I am letting go of…

What habit, mindset, or behavior are you actively letting go of this week? What action do you need to take?

Working on the computer at night. (Go to bed at the same time as wife.)
Edging with YouTube.  (Block YouTube on all devices.)
Shame. (Text accountability partner whenever I feel shame feelings.)


4.) and moving towards…

What habit or mindset are you moving towards. What action do you need to take?

Connection with wife. (Schedule and plan date night.)
Morning Routine.  (Set 2 calendar appts this week for morning routine.)
Daily affirmation.  (Read Your Why each morning first thing before you get out of bed.)

5.) I am aware of these threats to my sobriety this week…

Identify 3 threats this week. Threats are situations that require recovery tools.

6.) Tools I will use this week to eliminate threats…

For each threat you identify, choose a tool that you can use to overcome.

Threat: Home alone Wednesday afternoon. Tool: Work at Starbucks or bookend time with texts to accountability partner.


7.) I will take care of myself with…

Identify at least one self care activity that you will put on your calendar for the week.


8.) If I have a slip, I will…

Choose a consequence for the week.

Give up an activity or device
Act of service


9.) If I stay porn free this week, I will celebrate with…

Create a small milestone reward.

Milkshake
A beer with a friend
Date night
Fancy coffee
A magazine


10.) I commit this week to…

Who can you commit your week to? Consider your spouse or accountability partner.

BONUS:
Include Your Why on the bottom of you 7-Day Plan.

 

Resources:

Register for Free Webinar: Building a 7-Day Porn Free Plan
Live: March 13th 7pm CT. Login through your computer or dial in.

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106 – Back 2 Basics: F.A.S.T.T. Check-Ins

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Continuing our Back 2 Basics series, we review the tool of F.A.S.T.T. check-ins. This structured check-in process will anchor your recovery each week and improve your success.

This check-in format comes from Dr. Milton Magness. Its original use was for sex addicts and their partners after disclosure. However F.A.S.T.T. Check-ins provide a great framework for any kind of ongoing accountability.

The components of a F.A.S.T.T. Check-in include:

  • Feelings
  • Activities in Recovery
  • Slip Report (or Sobriety Check)
  • Threats
  • Tools

Resources:

1-on-1 Coaching

Support Pornfree Radio

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

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