Podcast

Nearly Half-A-Million Downloads and counting!
Welcome to the Pornfree Radio Podcast, a weekly podcast for people who want to live free from porn addiction. New shows each Monday.
To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

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If you have a chance, please leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes by clicking here. It helps get the word out about the show. I appreciate it!

110 – Do I have to hit rock bottom to recover?

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In this episode, I unpack the good and bad news about hitting rock bottom.

The bad news is few people will be able to porn free unless they have hit rock bottom.
But I also have some really good news…

I also answer two burning questions from listeners.

 

REV Group Coaching: April Groups
REV group coaching is weekly group coaching for men. It’s confidential with high accountability. We meet through secure video conference.

Each group is led personally by me. And I bring my experience, coaching and leading men for over 12 years on every call.

Registration is now open for April groups. Register deadline: 3/24/2017.

Apply Now

1-on-1 Coaching

Support Pornfree Radio

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

109 – What we live for is more important than what we give up

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My inbox is full (again!) Time to answer your burning questions.

  • Are there any porn free sexual acts?
  • Do you have any advice or specific tips for those of us who wrestle with same-sex pornography?
  • How can I move forward with abstinent dating?
  • Help! I’ve been struggling to find a decent consequence for relapse.
  • Is it unreasonable for me to want to see my boyfriend’s phone?
  • What to do with extreme temptation?
  • And more!

Rev Group Coaching: April Groups

RELAPSEREVOLUTIONGROUPBonoREV group coaching is weekly group coaching for men. It’s confidential with high accountability. We meet through secure video conference.

Each group is led personally by me. And I bring my experience, coaching and leading men for over 12 years on every call.

Registration is now open for April groups. Register deadline: 3/24/2017.

Find Out More

1-on-1 Coaching

Support Pornfree Radio

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

108 – 110 Days Porn Free While Studying For The Bar Exam

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In this episode, we open the Pornfree mail bag, read your letters and answer questions like:

  • Any suggestions for parents of someone who doesn’t seem to want to fight to be porn free?
  • Do you have any advice for a depressed, porn-addicted teenager?
  • How can a recovering porn addict can engage in good self care at different phases of life?
  • Is it normal to be scared to give up porn?
  • How should Christians think about participation in a 12-step program alongside their faith practice?

Rev Group Coaching: April Groups

RELAPSEREVOLUTIONGROUPBonoREV group coaching is weekly group coaching for men. It’s confidential with high accountability. We meet through secure video conference.

Each group is led personally by me. And I bring my experience, coaching and leading men for over 12 years on every call.

Registration is now open for April Groups.
Find Out More

1-on-1 Coaching

Support Pornfree Radio

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

107 – Back 2 Basics: The 7-Day Porn Free Plan

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In this episode, you’ll learn how to create a hyper focused 7-day recovery plan. This continues our “Back 2 Basics” series targeted at new listeners.

“To go porn free for a month, you have to go porn free for a week.”

The 7-Day Porn Free Plan

  1. On Sunday night, get a piece of blank paper or journal and your calendar.
  2. Answer the 10 writing prompts below for the following week.
  3. Schedule all recovery activities or actions you need to take on your weekly calendar.
  4. Commit your week to the person you identify.
  5. Each day, track your recovery activities and any powerful feelings.
  6. At the end the week have a F.A.S.T.T. Check-In with your partner.
  7. Commit the following week.

Weekly Writing Prompts:

1.  If I could live this week over again, I’d…

Fast forward 7 Days and think about this week from a future perspective. What would of made it great? What activities would you of like to have done? Who would you have liked to connect with?

2. Things I get to enjoy this week…

What do you get to this week? Where is the fun? What are you looking forward to?

3.) This week, I am letting go of…

What habit, mindset, or behavior are you actively letting go of this week? What action do you need to take?

Working on the computer at night. (Go to bed at the same time as wife.)
Edging with YouTube.  (Block YouTube on all devices.)
Shame. (Text accountability partner whenever I feel shame feelings.)


4.) and moving towards…

What habit or mindset are you moving towards. What action do you need to take?

Connection with wife. (Schedule and plan date night.)
Morning Routine.  (Set 2 calendar appts this week for morning routine.)
Daily affirmation.  (Read Your Why each morning first thing before you get out of bed.)

5.) I am aware of these threats to my sobriety this week…

Identify 3 threats this week. Threats are situations that require recovery tools.

6.) Tools I will use this week to eliminate threats…

For each threat you identify, choose a tool that you can use to overcome.

Threat: Home alone Wednesday afternoon. Tool: Work at Starbucks or bookend time with texts to accountability partner.


7.) I will take care of myself with…

Identify at least one self care activity that you will put on your calendar for the week.


8.) If I have a slip, I will…

Choose a consequence for the week.

Give up an activity or device
Act of service


9.) If I stay porn free this week, I will celebrate with…

Create a small milestone reward.

Milkshake
A beer with a friend
Date night
Fancy coffee
A magazine


10.) I commit this week to…

Who can you commit your week to? Consider your spouse or accountability partner.

BONUS:
Include Your Why on the bottom of you 7-Day Plan.

 

Resources:

Register for Free Webinar: Building a 7-Day Porn Free Plan
Live: March 13th 7pm CT. Login through your computer or dial in.

1-on-1 Coaching

Support Pornfree Radio

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

106 – Back 2 Basics: F.A.S.T.T. Check-Ins

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Continuing our Back 2 Basics series, we review the tool of F.A.S.T.T. check-ins. This structured check-in process will anchor your recovery each week and improve your success.

This check-in format comes from Dr. Milton Magness. Its original use was for sex addicts and their partners after disclosure. However F.A.S.T.T. Check-ins provide a great framework for any kind of ongoing accountability.

The components of a F.A.S.T.T. Check-in include:

  • Feelings
  • Activities in Recovery
  • Slip Report (or Sobriety Check)
  • Threats
  • Tools

Resources:

1-on-1 Coaching

Support Pornfree Radio

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

105 – Back 2 Basics: Daily Tracking

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How can we measure the health of our recovery daily?

In this episode, I share a new tool for daily recovery tracking that was inspired by the National Hockey League (NHL).

This is an addition to our Back 2 Basics series for new listeners. See previous episodes, 092 – Back 2 Basics: Edging and 093 – Back 2 Basics: Morning Routine.

Pornfree Radio Recovery Tracker Interactive Spreadsheet (Google Doc)
Courtesy of Pornfree Community member, David
Get Spreadsheet Template (Google Doc)

Pornfree Radio Recovery Tracker Blank Calendar (PDF)
Download (PDF)

“You are either working on recovery or your working on relapse…”

– Anonymous

Recovery Activities (+1)

  • Phone Call
  • rTribe Check In
  • Morning Routine
  • Group Meeting
  • 1-on-1 Accountability Meeting
  • Counseling or Coaching Session
  • Reading Recovery Literature like the Big Book
  • Meditation
  • Listening to Recovery Podcasts
  • Active commitments defined in plan
  • Fitness
  • Other Self Care

Relapse Activities (-1)

  • Edging
  • Double Look
  • Click Bait
  • Prolonged Fantasy
  • Masturbation (if part of your plan)
  • Porn
  • Lying
  • No Recovery activities for the day

Resources

1-on-1 Coaching

Support Pornfree Radio

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

104 – How To Deal With Depression

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In this uncut, unedited episode of Pornfree Radio, I share 5 things that help me deal with depression.

At the end of the episode, I read “The Promises” from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Here is the full text…

The Promises
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us – sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them. – Alcoholics Anonymous p. 83-84

1-on-1 Coaching

Support Pornfree Radio

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

103 – How To Take Massive Action

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Do you want to jumpstart your recovery this week? Take massive action.

Matt is joined by Steve, a Pornfree Radio listener, who shares the 10 actions he took last week.

10 Actions:
  1. Started listening to Pornfree Radio podcasts each day
  2. Called Covenant Eyes to block all internet browsing on phone
  3. Went back to recovery meeting
  4. Deleted questionable apps from phone.
  5. Set up weekly check-in with recovery group leader
  6. Started recovery workbook: Thirty Days to Hope & Freedom from Sexual Addiction by Milton S. Magness
  7. Set up weekly counseling
  8. Called local SA groups
  9. Listened to Your Brain on Porn author, Gary Wilson interviews (see The New Man and Integrity Restored podcasts)
  10. Listening to audio books and recovery literature on TuneIn

Steve also referenced blogger and podcaster, Michael Hyatt.

A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.
– Proverbs 22:3(NLT)

1-on-1 Coaching

Support Pornfree Radio

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

102 – How Do You Sustain Long-Term Sobriety?

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On my 6th anniversary of being porn free, I answer 2 recent questions; “How do you sustain long-term sobriety?” and “What does the struggle look like for you now?”

1-on-1 Coaching

Support Pornfree Radio

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

101 – The Most Important Recovery Book You’ve Never Read

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In 1939, the most important recovery book of all time was written. It has sold more than 30 million copies!

However you won’t find it when searching for “porn addiction” on Amazon.

And chances are you have never read it. But it’s a powerful recovery document and should be part of every guy’s toolbox.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • About the “Big Book”
  • Why and for who it was written
  • How the allergy of the body and obsession of the mind leads to powerlessness
  • What it means to us as we recover from porn addiction

Resources:

1-on-1 Coaching

Support Pornfree Radio

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out

100 – Nice to meet you, I’m addicted to porn

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Celebrating 100 episodes of Pornfree Radio by putting the focus on you the listener.

On this episode… Ben, a listener from the Pacific Northwest, joins Pornfree Radio and shares his story.

1-on-1 Coaching

Support Pornfree Radio

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

099 – How do I start to feel again?

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My inbox is full (again!) Time to answer your burning questions.

  • How do I start to feel again?
  • How do you address incognito mode within browsers?
  • Help! I’m a big sports fan and when my team loses, I relapse
  • Do you have any advice for me on how to pick up the phone?
  • Do you have any insight regarding the inevitable progression of the disease?
  • How did your wife get past the betrayal?
  • My accountability partner is not being honest…
  • And more!

Rev Group Coaching: January Groups

RELAPSEREVOLUTIONGROUPBonoREV group coaching is weekly group coaching for men. It’s confidential with high accountability. We meet through secure video conference.

Each group is led personally by me. And I bring my experience, coaching and leading men for over 12 years on every call.

Registration is now open for January Groups.

Find Out More

1-on-1 Coaching

Support Pornfree Radio

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

098 – Do you have any tips for finding a group?

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In this episode, we open the Pornfree mail bag, read your letters and answer questions like:

  • Do you have any tips for finding a group?
  • How long is a reasonable time to think about opening myself up for possible dating?
  • How honest is too honest especially this early in our romantic relationship?
  • Guys keep dropping out of my recovery group, Help!
  • If he doesn’t believe he has a porn addiction despite my objection and pain … do I just have no choice but to divorce?
  • If you’re really about helping everyone… why are all your paid-for products so expensive?
  • My accountability partner fell of the wagon, what do I do?
  • My dad struggles with porn also, how can I help?
  • My wife won’t have sex with me. Now what?

Rev Group Coaching: January Groups

RELAPSEREVOLUTIONGROUPBonoREV group coaching is weekly group coaching for men. It’s confidential with high accountability. We meet through secure video conference.

Each group is led personally by me. And I bring my experience, coaching and leading men for over 12 years on every call.

Registration is now open for January Groups.

Find Out More

1-on-1 Coaching

Support Pornfree Radio

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

097 – Go Porn Free in 2017 Pt. 3: Your Tribe

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Pornography is a habit that is practiced in isolation and in secret. Isn’t it just common sense that to break that habit you need others?

This is part 3 of our 3-part series for going porn free in 2017.

You’ll learn:

  • Why you need a tribe to recover
  • Why committing to a group is the single most powerful action you can take to go porn free
  • The 7 benefits of being in a strong recovery group

Resources for Creating a Tribe:

  • REV Group Coaching (See below)
  • Recovered Men Secret Facebook Group (Request an invite, matt@pornfreeradio.com)
  • rTribe App (Download, tag yourself with #pornfreeradio, and friend “dobber”)

Rev Group Coaching: January Groups

RELAPSEREVOLUTIONGROUPBonoREV group coaching is weekly group coaching for men. It’s confidential with high accountability. We meet through secure video conference.

Each group is led personally by me. And I bring my experience, coaching and leading men for over 12 years on every call.

Registration is now open for January Groups.

Find Out More

1-on-1 Coaching

Support Pornfree Radio

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out

 

096 – Go Porn Free in 2017 Pt. 2: Your Plan

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pa0rr3rvb-u-william-hook“Winners anticipate, losers react.”
– Tony Robbins

Listeners who have had success listening to Pornfree Radio have one thing in common. They have a plan. A custom recovery plan is essential to getting free from porn addiction.

This is part 2 of our 3-part series for going porn free in 2017.

You’ll learn:

  • Why motivation is an exhaustible resource
  • Why anticipation beats reaction
  • The 8 components of a strong recovery plan

Resources for Creating a Plan:

Rev Group Coaching: January Groups

RELAPSEREVOLUTIONGROUPBonoREV group coaching is weekly group coaching for men. It’s confidential with high accountability. We meet through secure video conference.

Each group is led personally by me. And I bring my experience, coaching and leading men for over 12 years on every call.

Registration is now open for January Groups.

Find Out More

1-on-1 Coaching

Support Pornfree Radio

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out

095 – Go Porn Free in 2017 Pt. 1: Your Why

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9o1oq9szqzq-ben-whiteYou need to know why you are eliminating porn from your life. The more clear you are, the better.

It can’t just be for your wife, your faith, your family, your job, etc. You have all those things now and you’re still stuck.

This is the first of 3 episodes on going porn free in 2017.

You’ll learn:

  • Why uncovering your true desire is essential to get free
  • The difference between external and internal motivation
  • A powerful exercise to reveal your why

Rev Group Coaching: January Groups

RELAPSEREVOLUTIONGROUPBonoREV group coaching is weekly group coaching for men. It’s confidential with high accountability. We meet through secure video conference.

Each group is led personally by me. And I bring my experience, coaching and leading men for over 12 years on every call.

Registration is now open for January Groups.

Find Out More

1-on-1 Coaching

Support Pornfree Radio

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out

094 – My Intentions Are Good, But My Follow Through Sucks

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copy-of-ntsw_fbIn this episode, we talk about… Goal Setting. For years goal setting was something I resisted. But in recovery it’s become a growing strength.

Ben Fraser from the Brick House Web Series sits in.

You’ll learn:

  • Why setting goals matter and why it’s essential to your recovery.
  • What it means to be a lazy perfectionist?
  • The 4 keys for follow through that doesn’t suck (My Slacker’s Guide To Accomplishing Goals.)

Next Step Resources:

Coaching

Support Pornfree Radio

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out

 

093 – Back 2 Basics: Morning Routine

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3How does a morning routine help keep you porn free? That and more are the focus of this episode. Ben Fraser from the Brick House web series sits in.

Resources:


Support Pornfree Radio

Coaching

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out

092 – Back 2 Basics: Edging

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2A topic that keeps coming up is edging. Edging are the little behaviors that mimic our old ways of acting out.

Hashtags, images searches, channel surfing, second looks, all fall into this category. They seem innocent compared to our old addiction. But they can spell trouble.

Ben Fraser from the Brick House Web Series sits in and shares his thoughts.

Support Pornfree Radio

Coaching

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out

091 – The Feeling Wheel

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ntsw_fb-25Matt shares a tool he has been using recently in 1-on-1 coaching to help clients identify the primary feelings in their life.

Resource:

Download The Feeling Wheel (PDF)
Developed by Dr. Gloria Willcox

Support Pornfree Radio

Coaching

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out

090 – I’m Not Perfect…But I’m Good At Not Relapsing

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ntsw_fb-24“Matt, I’m not perfect. But you know what I am good at? Not relapsing.”

One of my friends, with many years of sobriety, once told me this. The secret is what you do when you start getting shaky.

Links:

  • rTribe (find “dobber” on rTribe to friend Matt)

Support Pornfree Radio

Coaching

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out

089 – Social Recovery with Alex Lerza from rTribe

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ntsw_fb-23Alex Lerza from rTribe visits Pornfree Radio and shares why connection is the opposite of addiction. Alex by training is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. Much of his work as a therapist has come out of his own recovery.

His journey also led him to create an app in 2015, with fellow therapist, Josh Kalsbeek, to help people recover. rTribe is a social recovery app for porn and sex addiction. It connects thousands of people each day who are working on recovery from porn.

Links:

Support Pornfree Radio

Coaching

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out

 

088 – What I Found When I Searched for “Porn Addiction” on Amazon.com

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ntsw_fb-22When looking for help with porn addiction, books seem like a safe, easy way to learn. Especially when ordered online. But what do the search results from Amazon.com tell us about our porn addiction?

I saw some common themes in the books represented. I break down 3 types of the porn addiction books and ask the question: Do they help us recover or are they an excuse for not taking action?

Resources:

 

Support Pornfree Radio on Patreon

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

087 – A Man Divided Cannot Stand

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ntsw_fb-2Whether you’re new to Pornfree Radio or have been listening from the beginning, there’s a common journey we share.

We all start divided with an external life we show people and a hidden life where our addiction lives. Our ultimate goal is to be whole. To have the inside and outside match.

But how do we get there?

Three Actions to Make a Plan

Support Pornfree Radio on Patreon

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

086 Missing In Action

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ntsw_fb-20What’s missing in recovery? YOU.

Are you showing up? Are you supporting others? Do you know the value of your presence? In this episode, we discuss why everyone should be in a group.

Group Resources:



REV Group CoachingRELAPSEREVOLUTIONGROUPBono

  • Weekly Group Coaching for Men
  • Led by Matt Dobschuetz
  • Confidential
  • High Accountability
  • Starting September 21
  • Limit: 10 Men

APPLY BY 9/16/2016
Apply Now

 

Support Pornfree Radio on Patreon:

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

085 The Worst Men’s Group Ever

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NTSW_FB (19) A year into my recovery, I attended the worst men’s group ever. Nobody was having much success and I felt worse going home then when I got there.

In this episode, I share what was missing and how you can revive a struggling group.

Resources:



REV Group CoachingRELAPSEREVOLUTIONGROUPBono

  • Weekly Group Coaching for Men
  • Led by Matt Dobschuetz
  • Confidential
  • High Accountability
  • Starting September 21
  • Limit: 10 Men

APPLY BY 9/16/2016
Apply Now

Support Pornfree Radio on Patreon:

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

084 More Lies That Keep Us Coming Back To Porn

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NTSW_FB (16)In episode 75, I shared 5 lies that keep us coming back to porn. This was one of our most downloaded podcasts of the summer.

On a recent Reddit thread, I posted the original 5 lies and users contributed more lies in the comments.

In this episode I share the new lies here and 5 powerful truths that help overcome them.

PFR Daily Affirmations, Part 2:

  • Porn is not safe for me.
  • Regardless of my relationship status, using porn is not caring for myself.
  • There will never be a time when porn is okay for me.
  • My consistent commitment to recovery is not tied to a streak of days or doing things perfect.
  • Even a little bit of porn is too much for me.


REV Group CoachingRELAPSEREVOLUTIONGROUPBono

  • Weekly Group Coaching for Men
  • Led by Matt Dobschuetz
  • Confidential
  • High Accountability
  • Starting September 21
  • Limit: 10 Men

APPLY BY 9/16/2016
Apply Now

 


Support Pornfree Radio on Patreon:

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

083 Ask More Questions

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NTSW_FB (14)Providing great accountability is more than just encouraging someone when they relapse. In this episode, we talk about 3 tools you can use to make your accountability stronger.

These tools can be difference between a guy staying stuck and getting to the next level in their recovery.

Get Access to Recovering From Relapse 3- Video Series
All videos now available.

Contribute to Pornfree Radio:

Sprint Coaching

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

082 The 5 Characteristics of Great Accountability Partners

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NTSW_FB (13)Is your accountability partner a CHAMP? In this episode, we answer your questions about accountability and accountability partners.

You’ll also learn the 5 characteristics of great accountability partners.

Get Access to Relapse Video Series
Sign up to be notified when our free video series on Relapse launches.

Donate to Pornfree Radio:

Sprint Coaching

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

081 Up In Your Business w/ Angus Nelson

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NTSW_FB (12)Fresh off of Podcast Movement 2016, Matt welcomes Angus Nelson from the “Up In Your Business” podcast.

Angus works with executives of the world’s largest companies as a speaker, coach, and facilitator. He’s spoken at corporate headquarters for Walmart, Whole Foods, Coke, BMW and others. He has been featured on Aol.com, Huffington Post, & VentureBeat. His book is called “Love’s Compass: How Do You Recover After a Lost Relationship”. In April, 2017, Morgan James Publishing will release his newest book, “Empowering Work.”

On this episode, Angus opens up about his history with porn and gets vulnerable.

Whenever you show yourself vulnerable, you give others permission to do the same. – Angus Nelson

Resources:

Get Access to Relapse Video Series
Sign up to be notified when our free video series on Relapse launches.

Donate to Pornfree Radio:

Sprint Coaching

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080 The 1 Habit You Need To Stay Porn Free

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NTSW_FB (11)Matt shares two recent stories from coaching clients and the 1 consistent habit you need to stay porn free.

Get Access to Relapse Video Series
Sign up to be notified when our free video series on Relapse launches.

Donate to Pornfree Radio:

Sprint Coaching

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

079 The 3 Choices You Have When Dealing With Porn

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There are three choices you have when dealing with porn. In this episode, Matt shares an embarrassing story and how it applies to your recovery.

Get Access to Relapse Video Series
Sign up to be notified when our free video series on Relapse launches.

Donate to Pornfree Radio:

Sprint Coaching

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

078 The Biggest Mistake People Make When Quitting Porn Pt. 2

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NTSW_FB (8)In episode 4 of Pornfree Radio, we talked about the biggest mistake people make when quitting porn. This episode is one of our most popular and has been downloaded over 5000 times.

In this follow up, I revisit the topic with some further thoughts with how guys get stuck.

Get Access to Relapse Video Series
Sign up to be notified when our free video series on Relapse launches.

Donate to Pornfree Radio:

Sprint Coaching

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

077 Seven Deadly Excuses

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NTSW_FB (7)In each Pornfree Radio podcast, a sale is made. Either you buy what I’m selling about being porn free or you sell me an excuse why you can’t.

In this episode, we talk about the seven deadly excuses that come up when trying to quit porn.

DISCLAIMER: These excuses are not aimed at anyone specific. If they sound familiar it’s because I hear them a lot.

Get Access to Relapse Video Series
Sign up to be notified when our free video series on Relapse launches.

Donate to Pornfree Radio:

Sprint Coaching

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

076 The #1 Thing Porn Costs Us

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NTSW_FB (6)I’ve talked to over sixty guys 1-on-1 this past year about their struggle with porn. When I asked what it has cost them, there is a common answer that comes up over and over again.

But is it the whole story? In this episode, we look at what they said and dig deeper.

In this episode:

  • The #1 thing we say porn costs us
  • How we dishonor our value with porn
  • How porn overrides our lives
  • How porn snowballs into the next day
  • Why it robs us of our presence

Donate to Pornfree Radio:

Sprint Coaching

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

075 The 5 Lies That Keep Us Coming Back To Porn

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NTSW_FB (5)There are 5 lies I hear over and over again from guys trying to quit porn. These are the mistaken beliefs that go through our head right before we act out.

In this episode, I label the 5 lies and share 5 powerful truths to help overcome them.

PFR Daily Affirmations:

  1. I am seen. I am worthy of love. When I am alone, I can hold on to love.
  2. I deserve good self care. My needs are important.
  3. Porn is toxic to me. Even a little bit can make me sick.
  4. I can’t do this perfectly, but I can do this.
  5. I need others to get free. Porn wants me to stay alone.

 

 

Contibute to Pornfree Radio:

 

 

Sprint Coaching

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074 Hope Ray Returns: Partners’ Q&A

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NTSW_FB (4)In episode 70, Hope Ray joined us from Hope Ray Therapy to discuss the Partners’ experience. Hope returns to answer questions from partners, wives, and girlfriends.

In this episode, we answer:

  • How do I begin a conversation with my significant other about his porn use?
  • Do ultimatums work?
  • What if my husband is a brick wall?
  • What if he says he’s sorry, but doesn’t change?
  • What if my husband looks at teen porn?

Resources:

Sprint Coaching

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

073 Ten Porn Free Hacks For Summer

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NTSW_FB (3)Summer is here. And with it brings time off, vacations, new schedules, bikinis, and summer clothing.

In this episode, Matt shares ten porn free hacks you can use this Summer to stay on the right track.  Don’t miss hack #8. It’s a new one that goes against popular advice.

Sprint Coaching 3-Month Summer Special

Fill out the application and ask Matt about the 3-Month Summer special for new clients. For a limited time.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

 

072 Can A Recovering Porn Addict Be An Artist?

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NTSW_FB (2)Can I be a recovering porn addict and an artist at the same time? What about drawing nudes? Or what about art that is erotic? In the art world, the line between porn and art can be thin. In some cases, one person’s “art” is another person’s porn!

How can one balance being an artist, viewing art, drawing from life and avoid being triggered?

Special Announcement:
Hope Ray (from Episode 70) returns Monday, June 6th to answer your questions about recovery and relationships. Email matt@pornfreeradio.com to ask a question. 

Sprint Coaching Summer Special

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

Bonus: Chris Rock and Neal Brennan Interview

 

 

071 Why Men Look at Porn

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The nagging question after any relapse is ‘Why?” Why did I look at porn when I was committed not to? Why did I look at porn even though it’s harmful to my relationship? Why did I look at porn and put my job at risk?

There are two reasons that drive us to porn and they have little to do with brain science or our capacity for lust.

Special Announcement:
Hope Ray (from Episode 70) returns Monday, June 6th to answer your questions about recovery and relationships. Email matt@pornfreeradio.com to ask a question. 

Sprint Coaching Summer Special

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

070 Hope for Partners, Wives, and Girlfriends with Hope Ray

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NTSW_FBIt’s been 2 years of Pornfree Radio and this show is unlike any other. On this episode we focus on partners. We discuss disclosures, coming clean, check-ins, and the partners’ experience.

Counselor Hope Ray joins Matt for an informative discussion that will help both motivated guys who want to quit looking at porn and the partners who love them.

In this episode:

  • What and when to tell your wife
  • The disclosure process
  • What staggered disclosure is and why it’s damaging
  • F.A.S.T.T. Check-ins

Hope Ray returns Monday, June 6th to answer your questions about recovery and relationships. Email matt@pornfreeradio.com to ask a question. 

Resources:

Sprint Coaching

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

 

069 Sex In Recovery From Porn?

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sxinrecoveryOpening the mail bag once again this week with a stack of questions.

In this episode:

“Is sex in recovery okay?”
“What about hard mode?”
“What about sex when your older?”
“What happens when you and your partner have a different sex drive?”
“What if you’re addicted to images that aren’t traditional pornography?”

Resources:

Sprint Coaching

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

068 How Long Does It Take To Quit Porn?

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howlongimageOn this episode, Matt digs into the PFR mailbag and answers some questions listeners want to know.

“We don’t think our way to right action, we act our way to right thinking.”
– AA Recovery Quote

Questions:

“Are you still doing the podcast?”
“How long does it take to quit porn?”
“What worse to relapse in porn or masturbation?”
“Can you recover if you have not hit rock bottom?”
“Where can you look for an accountability partner?”

Resources:

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

 

 

067 Killing The Passive Will

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killingpassive

Sometimes we discover that we just plain want to hang on porn. We want to be passive and put the responsibility of moving forward on someone else. But it’s time to make a decision.

In Episode 66, I asked the question, “Do you really want to fix this?”

This episode struck a nerve with the audience. I received more email then I ever have before. Some guys were worried I was quitting podcasting. Several guys thought my sharp comments were directed at them. And many more shared the action they were taking as a result from this show.

So I thought I would go deeper into what set me off. It’s the passive will and a failure to take responsibility.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • The quote that almost got me in a fight
  • What we discover about our struggle
  • What the passive will is
  • About the decision we must make
  • What it means to decide

“Sometimes we discover that we just plain want to hang on to the sinful behavior, and some of us even have to face the fact that we then hope to blame God for not “healing” us. We see right away when we are dealing with a passive will, someone who looks lumpishly to a counselor or minister of God to do what only he himself can do. All such things as these come to the fore, along with the memories of where the heart opened itself to envy, bitterness, lust and so on. Then in full confession of our sins of God, we acknowledge our rank foolishness and our propensities to pride and rebellion, and we make a decision about sin.”

– Leanne Payne, The Healing Presence

Resources:

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066 IMPORTANT: Do you want to fix this?

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NTSW_FBThis episode resets the vision of Pornfree Radio. If you are new listener feel free to listen to some old shows. If you’re a long timer, it’s time to have an honest conversation:  Do you want to fix this? Do you really want to fix this?

Resources:

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

 

065 Not Safe For Work Pt 3: Getting Things Done

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3This is the final episode in a 3 podcast series about porn use in the workplace. We’ve identified in episode 63 the risks of using porn at work.  In episode 64, we talked about how your leadership is compromised.

In part 3, Ben from the Brick House Web Series, joins me to discuss strategies for eliminating porn at work and getting things done.

To listen to parts 1 and 2 go to:

If you don’t pay appropriate attention to what has your attention, it will take more of your attention than it deserves. – David Allen, Getting Things Done

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • What GTD is
  • Why you need to treat your work environment as a project
  • Why you need a plan for work
  • What are the unique emotional triggers, mistaken beliefs, and weak links at work
  • How to take action at work
  • Why we need self care at work

Resources:

Software Resources:

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

064 Not Safe For Work Pt 2: The Impotent Leader

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2This is part 2 of 3 episodes on porn use and the work place. Ben Fraser from the Brick House Web Series joins me again. This time we discuss the effect of porn use on your leadership at work. To listen to part 1 go to, 063 Not Safe For Work Pt 1: Risky Business.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • How porn steals your focus
  • How it robs your ability to present to others
  • How it zaps your vision and erodes your confidence
  • How it compromises your moral leadership
  • Why even if people don’t find out, they will experience the effects

Resources:

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

063 Not Safe For Work Pt 1: Risky Business

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1According to a survey* conducted by the Barna Group in the U.S. in 2014: 63% of adult men have looked at pornography at least one time while at work in the past 3 months; 38% have done so more than once.

It’s a BIG issue. And there are HUGE risks to viewing porn at work.

Ben Fraser from the Brick House Web Series joins me for 1st of 3 podcasts on porn use at work. 

*2014 ProvenMen.org Pornography Use at Work Survey (conducted by the Barna Group)

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • You personal risk of using porn at work
  • The jaw dropping stats of porn at work
  • What triggers work place porn use
  • The 4 main areas of risk
  • The harm of “working under the influence”
  • Why porn steals more than just your time

Resources:

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

062 A Bone To Pick

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3lxYetw8Matt is joined by Brick House web series creator, Ben Fraser. Ben first visited Pornfree Radio for episode 24 on Creativity and Recovery.

In this episode, Matt and Ben discuss the second season of Brick House (now available on YouTube.) Then they turn their attention to a passionate letter from a listener.

Resources:

Sprint Coaching for Porn Addiction

sprintAre you getting stuck? I want to help you. I have openings starting this month. Sprint coaching is the fastest way to get a recovery plan in place and start taking action. Fill out an application here and I’ll set up a free 30-min session to see if sprint coaching is right for you.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

061 The Strength To Delete It All

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53196678Saying goodbye to your stash is hard to do. It’s been with you a long time. It’s like a security blanket. But it is something that has to be done if you want freedom.

In this episode, we talk about the strength to delete it all. We also discuss the things to watch out for when you get close to 30 days porn free.

You’ll learn:

  • About my second chance offers for 2016
  • The details of a listener success story
  • What it took to finally delete that old stash
  • 4 things to watch out for when your near the 30-day porn free mark

2016 Second Chance Offers

Get access to Your Porn Free Playbook or 1-1 Coaching with Matt Dobschuetz at a great rate through February 5, 2016. Save $100 off Your Porn Free Playbook Course OR $300 off a 3-month coaching package. Click here to take action.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

060 Going 5 Years Porn Free

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In this episode, recorded on my 5th anniversary of being 100% porn free. I share the 5 biggest things that have helped me stay porn free since January 2011.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • About my last relapse
  • Why I need consistent, transparent relationships with other guys
  • Why open communication and trust with my wife was key to my success
  • Why I eliminated dangerous media in my life
  • How I took a hard line on edging
  • How helping others helps keep me porn free

Your Porn Free Playbook (link)
Join our new course and 2016 can be the year you go 100% porn free. I want to help. I want to work with you, because having another person walk through this with you is the only way to ditch this addiction.

Finally, A Practical, Actionable Process for Quitting Porn

  • Build a rock solid plan that is custom to you
  • Find the missing pieces that keep you from freedom
  • Identify hidden triggers and roadblocks
  • Celebrate your successes (there will be success)
  • Discover the confidence and contentment that comes in recovery
  • Integrate freedom habits that add fun and fulfillment to your life

Learn More

Work With Me 1-on-1

sprintAre you getting stuck? I want to help you. I have openings starting this month. Sprint coaching is the fastest way to get a recovery plan in place and start taking action. Fill out an application here and I’ll set up a free 30-min session to see if sprint coaching is right for you.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

059 Fail Better Pt 2: Preventing Relapse

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2Continuing our discussion on relapse from episode 58, in this show we talk about the lies we believe and how to prevent relapse.

Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. – Samuel Beckett

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • Matt’s favorite character from Star Wars: The Force Awakens
  • Common lies we believe when in relapse
  • Warning signs of relapse
  • How to avoid relapse
  • Why bringing even small things into the light helps us
  • Listener Question: What do you do when you’re trying to sleep and lustful thoughts keep pounding your mind?

Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light.

– Ephesians 5:11-14 (ESV)

Resource:
http://emergency.nofap.com/

Want to Help Me?
I am thinking about designing a relapse tool. A short guide or a email series and I need a few guys to review and answer some questions. Let me know if you would be interested. Go to: http://recoveredman.com/relapse

Your Porn Free Playbook (link)
Join our new course and 2016 can be the year you go 100% porn free. I want to help. I want to work with you, because having another person walk through this with you is the only way to ditch this addiction.

Finally, A Practical, Actionable Process for Quitting Porn

  • Build a rock solid plan that is custom to you
  • Find the missing pieces that keep you from freedom
  • Identify hidden triggers and roadblocks
  • Celebrate your successes (there will be success)
  • Discover the confidence and contentment that comes in recovery
  • Integrate freedom habits that add fun and fulfillment to your life

Learn More

Work With Me 1-on-1

sprintAre you getting stuck? I want to help you. I have openings starting this month. Sprint coaching is the fastest way to get a recovery plan in place and start taking action. Fill out an application here and I’ll set up a free 30-min session to see if sprint coaching is right for you.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

058 Fail Better Pt 1: Recovering From Relapse

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1I get a ton of email about relapse. Immediately after a relapse guys send me questions trying to figure out what went wrong. Or sometimes they are trying to figure out what series of behaviors constitutes relapse. All that and more as we spend the 1st of 2 episodes on relapse.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • What relapse means
  • When it begins and more importantly when it ends
  • How we can take ownership
  • How to assess what happened
  • Why relapse can be a gift

Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.
– Samuel Beckett

Want to Help Me?
I am thinking about designing a relapse tool. A short guide or a email series and I need a few guys to review and answer some questions. Let me know if you would be interested.

Go to:
http://recoveredman.com/relapse

Your Porn Free Playbook (link)
Join our new course and 2016 can be the year you go 100% porn free. I want to help. I want to work with you, because having another person walk through this with you is the only way to ditch this addiction.

Finally, A Practical, Actionable Process for Quitting Porn

  • Build a rock solid plan that is custom to you
  • Find the missing pieces that keep you from freedom
  • Identify hidden triggers and roadblocks
  • Celebrate your successes (there will be success)
  • Discover the confidence and contentment that comes in recovery
  • Integrate freedom habits that add fun and fulfillment to your life

Learn More

 

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

057 Go Porn Free in 2016

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pf_2016There is a part of you that doesn’t want to listen to this podcast. Because to go porn free in 2016 you might have to do some things differently than this year. But you need to press through the resistance and embrace the process. In this episode, we discuss the 5 steps to going porn free in 2016.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • What a sprint plan is
  • Why you need to be selfish
  • The 3 roadblocks to being porn free
  • The biggest mistake people make when quitting porn
  • The new habits you need this year
  • What activates your plan
Go Porn Free in 2016 Video and Worksheet Download
Free Video Training, checklist and monthly worksheet.



We value your privacy. Your email will never be shared. Emails are sent from matt@recoveredman.com.

Your Porn Free Playbook (link)
Join our new course and 2016 can be the year you go 100% porn free. I want to help. I want to work with you, because having another person walk through this with you is the only way to ditch this addiction.

Your Porn Free Playbook - 2016Finally, A Practical, Actionable Process for Quitting Porn

  • Build a rock solid plan that is custom to you
  • Find the missing pieces that keep you from freedom
  • Identify hidden triggers and roadblocks
  • Celebrate your successes (there will be success)
  • Discover the confidence and contentment that comes in recovery
  • Integrate freedom habits that add fun and fulfillment to your life

Learn More

 

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

056 A Letter From The North Pole

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photo-1444703686981-a3abbc4d4fe3This time a year, we hear a lot of stories about sending letters to Santa. But on this episode Matt reads a letter he received, this week, from the North Pole.

Now as far as we know, Santa doesn’t listen to Pornfree Radio. But someone does and we have the proof.

Your Porn Free Playbook-2016 (link)
Join our new course and 2016 can be the year you go 100% porn free. I want to help. I want to work with you, because having another person walk through this with you is the only way to ditch this addiction.

Your Porn Free Playbook - 2016Finally, A Practical, Actionable Process for Quitting Porn

  • Build a rock solid plan that is custom to you
  • Find the missing pieces that keep you from freedom
  • Identify hidden triggers and roadblocks
  • Celebrate your successes (there will be success)
  • Discover the confidence and contentment that comes in recovery
  • Integrate freedom habits that add fun and fulfillment to your life

Learn More

 

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

055 I Just Completed a Massive Binge…

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There's a reason that rear-view mirrors are smaller than wind shields.

Why is the windshield so big and the rearview mirror is so little? You need to spend a lot more time looking forward rather than looking back. – Aaron Walker

Fresh off the American holiday of Thanksgiving, where over indulgence is common, and Black Friday, America’s shopping spectacle, Matt digs into one of the best letters he has ever gotten on PFR.

This show references some past episodes:

Resources:

Netflix with boundaries? On-demand without the junk?
Watch movies your way with VidAngel (affiliate link.).  Select the content you don’t want to see and VidAngel’s smart streaming service removes it while you watch. No more surprises!

Your Porn Free Playbook - 2016Your Porn Free Playbook-2016 (link)
Join our new course and 2016 can be the year you go 100% porn free. I want to help. I want to work with you, because having another person walk through this with you is the only way to ditch this addiction.

Finally, A Practical, Actionable Process for Quitting Porn

  • Build a rock solid plan that is custom to you
  • Find the missing pieces that keep you from freedom
  • Identify hidden triggers and roadblocks
  • Celebrate your successes (there will be success)
  • Discover the confidence and contentment that comes in recovery
  • Integrate freedom habits that add fun and fulfillment to your life

Learn More

 

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

054 The 5 Essential Habits of Porn Free People

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pornfree_pplIn this episode, we talk about  The 5 Essential Habits of Porn Free People. We hosted a webinar a few weeks back on the same subject and over 60 guys jumped on to watch. But many of you couldn’t make it.

If you have struggled going 100% porn free this past year it may be that you’re just missing a 1 or 2 key habits. So today I reveal the 5 essential habits of porn free people who go 30, 60, 365+ days without porn.

In this episode:

  • You’ll learn each of the 5 Essential Habits
  • What to do if you’re weak in an essential habit
  • The secret to making goals happen
  • Why no one accidentally goes porn free

Resources:

Netflix with boundaries? On-demand without the junk?
Watch movies your way with VidAngel (affiliate link.).  Select the content you don’t want to see and VidAngel’s smart streaming service removes it while you watch. No more surprises!

Your Porn Free Playbook - 2016Your Porn Free Playbook-2016 (link)
Join our new course and 2016 can be the year you go 100% porn free. I want to help. I want to work with you, because having another person walk through this with you is the only way to ditch this addiction.

Finally, A Practical, Actionable Process for Quitting Porn

  • Build a rock solid plan that is custom to you
  • Find the missing pieces that keep you from freedom
  • Identify hidden triggers and roadblocks
  • Celebrate your successes (there will be success)
  • Discover the confidence and contentment that comes in recovery
  • Integrate freedom habits that add fun and fulfillment to your life

Learn More
Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

053 How Do I Know If I’m Getting Better?

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photo-1441716844725-09cedc13a4e7If everything I do is preventative, setting up filters, rules, boundaries,etc. — how do I know if I’m recovering? Am I really getting better? What are proactive things can I do speed up my recovery?

Resources:

Trust in the Slow Work of God
Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, S.J. (1881-1955)

Above all, trust in the slow work of God.
We are quite naturally impatient in everything
to reach the end without delay.

We should like to skip the intermediate stages.
We are impatient of being on the way
to something unknown, something new.

Yet it is the law of all progress that is made
by passing through some stages of instability
and that may take a very long time.

And so I think it is with you.
Your ideas mature gradually. Let them grow.
Let them shape themselves without undue haste.

Do not try to force them on
as though you could be today what time,
that is to say, grace and circumstances
acting on your own good will,
will make you tomorrow.

Only God could say what this new Spirit
gradually forming in you will be.
Give our Lord the benefit of believing
that his hand is leading you,
and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself
in suspense and incomplete.

Above all, trust in the slow work of God—
our loving vine-dresser.

Amen.

 

Register for our Webinar
5 Essential Habits of Porn Free People
Wed Nov. 11. 8PM CST.

Sprint Coaching for Porn Addiction

sprintAre you getting stuck? I want to help you. I have openings starting this month. Sprint coaching is the fastest way to get a recovery plan in place and start taking action. Fill out an application here and I’ll set up a free 30-min session to see if sprint coaching is right for you.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

 

052 What Does Your Smartphone Look Like?

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phoneSmartphones are the #1 threat to being porn free today. They are up to a 100x more powerful than computers we used a few years ago and sit on our nightstand. But smartphones are not the problem, it’s our relationship with them.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why abstinence at first is one of the only ways to curb your smartphones habits
  • Why changing your relationship with your smartphone is crucial to getting free
  • The three goals you need to set for yourself with your smartphone
  • What Matt’s personal smartphone look likes
  • About accountability software and what to look for in a partner

Software Resources:

Register for our Webinar
5 Essential Habits of Porn Free People
Wed Nov. 11. 8PM CST.

Sprint Coaching for Porn Addiction

sprintAre you getting stuck? I want to help you. I have openings starting this month. Sprint coaching is the fastest way to get a recovery plan in place and start taking action. Fill out an application here and I’ll set up a free 30-min session to see if sprint coaching is right for you.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

051 Slips Vs. Acting Out

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33352788_sSlips. Close calls. Edging. How do we define those little behaviors that are related to our old porn rituals? Matt tackles the age old recover problem: Did we have a slip or did we relapse?

 

 

Register for our Webinar
5 Essential Habits of Porn Free People
Wed Nov. 11. 8PM CST.

 

Sprint Coaching for Porn Addiction

sprintAre you getting stuck? I want to help you. I have openings starting this month. Sprint coaching is the fastest way to get a recovery plan in place and start taking action. Fill out an application here and I’ll set up a free 30-min session to see if sprint coaching is right for you.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

050 The Real Scandal Behind Ashley Madison

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Text here (1)The real scandal behind the Ashley Madison hack didn’t make headlines, but it has real implications for guys who want to go porn free. I’ll share what we can learn from Ashley Madison and what it has in common with sites like Google,YouTube, and Facebook.

Gizmodo Series by Annalee Newitz:

The Ashley Madison con may have played on some of our most ancient desires, but it also gives us a window on what’s to come. What you see on social media isn’t always what it seems. Your friends may be bots, and you could be sharing your most intimate fantasies with hundreds of lines of PHP code.
– Annalee Newitz, Gizmodo

Sprint Coaching for Porn Addiction

sprintAre you getting stuck? I want to help you. I have openings starting this month. Sprint coaching is the fastest way to get a recovery plan in place and start taking action. Fill out an application here and I’ll set up a free 30-min session to see if sprint coaching is right for you.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

049 Why Did I Binge After 30 Days of Success?

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Why Did IThis summer my mailbox has been full. In this episode, I’ll be answering questions from listeners.

You can always email at matt@pornfreeradio.com. I am the only one who checks that email box. Please include your first name. If there is anything you need to keep private please give me the heads up.

Questions discussed in this episode:

  • Why did I Binge after 30 days of success?
  • How do you build more trust in your relationship with your wife?
  • What advice do you have for partners on the other side of porn addiction?
  • How do I not get conceded in my recovery, letting down my guard because I figured it out?

Resources:

Sprint Coaching for Porn Addiction

sprintAre you getting stuck? I want to help you. I have openings starting this month. Sprint coaching is the fastest way to get a recovery plan in place and start taking action. Fill out an application here and I’ll set up a free 30-min session to see if sprint coaching is right for you.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out. I realize this is a porn-themed podcast, so if you don’t want to leave a public review that’s okay. Just leave a rating. Also tell a friend who might benefit from it.

048 Home Alone Syndrome

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nullHave you ever gotten home and realized you were alone with unaccountable time? And your next thought was, “Yippe I can look at porn.”

Or have you ever had 10 minutes of free time on your smart phone and thought no one will know if I do a quick search?

Well you have experienced “Home Alone Syndrome.” It’s that all too common trap we get in when we are alone and feel like nobody is watching. It can short circuit weeks of strong sobriety in minutes.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • About one of our most dangerous threats to being porn free
  • 3 lies that drive “Home Alone Syndrome”
  • 3 ways to counteract this pattern

Resources:

breakglass_box_ds_smallBreak Glass In Case of Emergency
10 Ways to Deal With Temptation in the Moment

Download my new guide on temptation. This document has 10 powerful exercises inside for dealing with temptation in the moment. Cheap enough to buy now without regret. Costly enough to make sure you use it later.

Remember this is not a document that you read once and forget about it. It’s made to use in the MOMENT, when you’re on the EDGE, to jolt you back to safety. Use it wisely and it could save your butt today.

Visit http://recoveredman.com/911 to get your copy.

Sprint Coaching for Porn Addiction
Are you getting stuck? I want to help you. I have openings starting this month. Sprint coaching is the fastest way to get a recovery plan in place and start taking action. Fill out an application here and I’ll set up a free 30-min session to see if sprint coaching is right for you.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out. I realize this is a porn-themed podcast, so if you don’t want to leave a public review that’s okay. Just leave a rating. Also tell a friend who might benefit from it

047 I Lived With A Porn Star Pt 2: Craig Perra

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IMG_0263This is part 2 of 2 episodes with Craig Perra from the Mindful Habit . In this episode, Craig continues to share the emotional experience he had shooting the reality TV show, Living With the Enemy, where he lived with a porn star for 8 days.

In this episode, we talk about the show’s climactic scene where Craig takes Emily back to the scene of his darkest moment.

Resources:

Amazon Prime Video
Living With the Enemy 

Naked or Afraid
A life coach for porn addicts and adult film actress go toe to toe in an intense eight-day battle debating the impact pornography has on society.

The Mindful Habit
The Mindful Habit Program to End Porn and Sex Addiction is Craig’s online program. It’s a system that once you learn, you can use for the rest of your life in your recovery. It includes videos, guides/exercises, weekly support calls, a member forum, and a 1-on-1 session with Craig. Use my affiliate link to sign up.

I am affiliate for The Mindful Habit. The links on my site to The Mindful Habit are affiliate links. Meaning if you sign up, I will earn a modest commission at no additional cost to you.

breakglass_box_ds_smallBreak Glass In Case of Emergency
10 Ways to Deal With Temptation in the Moment

Download my new guide on temptation. This document has 10 powerful exercises inside for dealing with temptation in the moment. Cheap enough to buy now without regret. Costly enough to make sure you use it later.

Remember this is not a document that you read once and forget about it. It’s made to use in the MOMENT, when you’re on the EDGE, to jolt you back to safety. Use it wisely and it could save your butt today.
Visit http://recoveredman.com/911 to get your copy.

Sprint Coaching for Porn Addiction
Are you getting stuck? I want to help you. I have openings starting this month. Sprint coaching is the fastest way to get a recovery plan in place and start taking action. Fill out an application here and I’ll set up a free 30-min session to see if sprint coaching is right for you.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out. I realize this is a porn-themed podcast, so if you don’t want to leave a public review that’s okay. Just leave a rating. Also tell a friend who might benefit from it

046 I Lived With A Porn Star Pt 1: Craig Perra

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IMG_0267In early 2015, Craig Perra, life coach from the Mindful Habit, lived with porn star, Emily Nicholson, for 8 days. They were on the Lifetime reality series, Living With the Enemy.

This is part 1 of 2 episodes with Craig where we get his take on the show and how it affected him. In this episode we talk about Craig’s experience being on set at a porn shoot.

Resources:

Amazon Prime Video
Living With the Enemy 

Naked or Afraid
A life coach for porn addicts and adult film actress go toe to toe in an intense eight-day battle debating the impact pornography has on society.

The Mindful Habit
The Mindful Habit Program to End Porn and Sex Addiction is Craig’s online program. It’s a system that once you learn, you can use for the rest of your life in your recovery. It includes videos, guides/exercises, weekly support calls, a member forum, and a 1-on-1 session with Craig. Use my affiliate link to sign up.

I am affiliate for The Mindful Habit. The links on my site to The Mindful Habit are affiliate links. Meaning if you sign up, I will earn a modest commission at no additional cost to you.

breakglass_box_ds_smallBreak Glass In Case of Emergency
10 Ways to Deal With Temptation in the Moment

Download my new guide on temptation. This document has 10 powerful exercises inside for dealing with temptation in the moment. Cheap enough to buy now without regret. Costly enough to make sure you use it later.

Remember this is not a document that you read once and forget about it. It’s made to use in the MOMENT, when you’re on the EDGE, to jolt you back to safety. Use it wisely and it could save your butt today.
Visit http://recoveredman.com/911 to get your copy.

Sprint Coaching for Porn Addiction
Are you getting stuck? I want to help you. I have openings starting this month. Sprint coaching is the fastest way to get a recovery plan in place and start taking action. Fill out an application here and I’ll set up a free 30-min session to see if sprint coaching is right for you.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out. I realize this is a porn-themed podcast, so if you don’t want to leave a public review that’s okay. Just leave a rating. Also tell a friend who might benefit from it.

045 Temptation Pt 2: The Way of Escape

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TEMPTATION_ESCAPE1The second of two episodes on temptation is all about the way of the escape. Temptation is common to all men. And we have the ability to make choices in the moment.  It might feel automatic now, but you can disrupt the temptation cycle and find the way of escape.

Think about like this: there is an escape pod between desire and action. Our job is first to be aware of temptation and then to hit escape button in the moment it comes.

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. – (1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV)


In this episode you’ll learn:

  • Why it’s important to know temptation is common
  • About our ability to deal with temptation
  • There is always a way of escape
  • The 4 types of escape

“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” ― C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory, and Other Addresses

Sprint Coaching for Porn Addiction
Are you getting stuck? I want to help you. I have openings starting this month. Sprint coaching is the fastest way to get a recovery plan in place and start taking action. Fill out an application here and I’ll set up a free 30-min session to see if sprint coaching is right for you.

breakglass_box_ds_smallBreak Glass In Case of Emergency
10 Ways to Deal With Temptation in the Moment

Download my new guide on temptation. This document has 10 powerful exercises inside for dealing with temptation in the moment. Cheap enough to buy now without regret. Costly enough to make sure you use it later.

Remember this is not a document that you read once and forget about it. It’s made to use in the MOMENT, when you’re on the EDGE, to jolt you back to safety. Use it wisely and it could save your butt today.
Visit http://recoveredman.com/911 to get your copy.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out. I realize this is a porn-themed podcast, so if you don’t want to leave a public review that’s okay. Just leave a rating. Also tell a friend who might benefit from it.



044 Temptation Pt 1: Your Desire

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temptation_blog Our first of two episodes, on temptation, is all about your desire. Before you learn how to deal with temptation, you have to first define what it really means. Then you have to see the temptation cycle and how your desire drives it.


In this episode you’ll learn:

  • Why the popular definition of temptation is wrong
  • Why the milk did not “spill itself”
  • What your desire has to do with temptation
  • What the “Temptation Cycle” is
  • Why we need to take responsibility for our desires
  • How awareness helps us find the way out

But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. (James 1:14-15)

Sprint Coaching for Porn Addiction
Are you getting stuck? I want to help you. I have openings starting this month. Sprint coaching is the fastest way to get a recovery plan in place and start taking action. Fill out an application here and I’ll set up a free 30-min session to see if sprint coaching is right for you.

breakglass_box_ds_smallBreak Glass In Case of Emergency
10 Ways to Deal With Temptation in the Moment

Download my new guide on temptation. This document has 10 powerful exercises inside for dealing with temptation in the moment. Cheap enough to buy now without regret. Costly enough to make sure you use it later.

Remember this is not a document that you read once and forget about it. It’s made to use in the MOMENT, when you’re on the EDGE, to jolt you back to safety. Use it wisely and it could save your butt today.
Visit http://recoveredman.com/911 to get your copy.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out. I realize this is a porn-themed podcast, so if you don’t want to leave a public review that’s okay. Just leave a rating. Also tell a friend who might benefit from it.


 

043 Porn Addiction Side Effects

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24521150_sThe phrase “porn addiction side effects” is searched in Google over 60, 000 times a month. In attempt to self-diagnose anything from Porn-induced Erectile Dysfunction, depression, intrusive thoughts, dopamine headaches, fetishes or escalating behaviors, guys are looking for answers.  In this episode, we look at the porn addiction side effects that are common to all of us who struggle.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • 3 Common Porn Addiction Side Effects
  • Why there is hope for recovery

Offers:

Covenant Eyes: Get 2 Months Free if You Sign up by 8/31
Covenant Eyes is a filtering and accountability software, multi platform, multi device filter and tracker. There is a family price even to protect your whole family. Decrease the hesitation. If you have listened to this show for any length and have had a reset you NEED a filter. To get 2 months free use my affliate link at http://pornfreeradio.com/EYES.

Sprint Coaching for Porn Addiction
Are you getting stuck? I want to help you. I have openings starting in September. Sprint coaching is the fastest way to get a recovery plan in place and start taking action. Fill out an application here and I’ll set up a free 15-min call to see if sprint coaching is right for you.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out. I realize this is a porn-themed podcast, so if you don’t want to leave a public review that’s okay. Just leave a rating. Also tell a friend who might benefit from it.

042 Getting Started Pt 3: Your Plan

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41664322_sOur final installment in our three-part series on Getting Started, focuses on your plan. “Fail to plan. Plan to fail.”, is a true statement. Without a plan in place you continue to get triggered, go to unsafe places, and relapse. Again and again. At the end of this episode you will have the tools to build a simple plan that you can improve on as time goes on.

See episode 040 Getting Started Pt 1: Hitting Rock Bottom and 041 Getting Started Pt 2: Phone A Friend to listen from the beginning.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • The 3 Steps To Build a Plan

The  TUP Exercise (courtesy of my friend John)

  1. Take a piece of paper length wise.
  2. With a pen divide into three columns.
  3. Label them T – U – P
Austin 2014 T-UP

This was a trip plan for me last year. Austin 2014 T-UP

T is for Triggers
List all possible trip wires that can lead to porn.

Examples:

  • Emotion
  • Being Alone
  • Visual trigger
  • Family
  • Cable TV
  • Drinking Alcohol
  • Stress
  • Late Night

U is for Unsafe Places List all unsafe places.

These are places or things you cannot do. Here is the definition: If I do this activity, _________, I will look at porn.These things lead to porn 99% of the time.

Possible Unsafe Place:

  • Unfiltered Internet
  • Strip Clubs
  • Surfing Video sites
  • Smartphone in bed
  • A 7/11 that sells porn
  • A HBO Show
  • A park where people have anonymous sex
  • A browser on your smartphone

P is for Plan(or planning.)

The planning step looks at triggers and unsafe places and defines actions. The key is they are specific, accountable, and measurable.

If this happens __________ (insert trigger) I will do this ___________.

Examples:

  • If I have stress at work today, when I get home I will exercise first thing and avoid the computer. 
  • If my mom gets under my skin during my Thanksgiving holiday, I will go for a walk for an hour.
  • If it’s after 10 PM at night, I will not go on the internet.

 


Sprint Coaching for Porn Addiction
Are you getting stuck? I want to help you. I started offering sprint coaching packages in June. Sprint coaching is the fastest way to get a recovery plan in place and start taking action. Send an email to matt@recoveredman.com and we’ll set up a free 15-min call to see if sprint coaching is right for you.

Resources:
Covenant Eyes is a filtering and accountability software, multi platform, multi device filter and tracker. There is a family price even to protect your whole family. Decrease the hesitation. If you have listened to this show for any length and have had a reset you NEED a filter. To get a month free use my link at http://pornfreeradio.com/EYES.

cslewisBONUS: C.S. Lewis on Masturbation
“For me the real evil of masturbation would be that it takes an appetite which, in lawful use, leads the individual out of himself to complete (and correct) his own personality in that of another (and finally in children and even grandchildren) and turns it back; sends the man back into the prison of himself, there to keep a harem of imaginary brides.

“And this harem, once admitted, works against his ever getting out and really uniting with a real woman.

“For the harem is always accessible, always subservient, calls for no sacrifices or adjustments, and can be endowed with erotic and psychological attractions which no woman can rival.

“Among those shadowy brides he is always adored, always the perfect lover; no demand is made on his unselfishness, no mortification ever imposed on his vanity.

“In the end, they become merely the medium through which he increasingly adores himself. . . . After all, almost the main work of life is to come out of our selves, out of the little dark prison we are all born in. Masturbation is to be avoided as all things are to be avoided which retard this process. The danger is that of coming to love the prison.”

– Personal Letter From Lewis to Keith Masson (found in The Collected Letters of C.S. Lewis, Volume 3)

These quotes originally appeared in the post, C. S. Lewis on Lust, Women, and Masturbation by Matt Fradd.

 

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out. I realize this is a porn-themed podcast, so if you don’t want to leave a public review that’s okay. Just leave a rating. Also tell a friend who might benefit from it.

041 Getting Started Pt 2: Phone A Friend

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11378187_788853731229425_1920168911_nThe second in our three-part series on Getting Started, focuses on asking for help. See episode 040 Getting Started Pt 1: Hitting Rock Bottom to listen from the beginning.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • Why porn addiction thrives in isolation
  • 3 distinct benefits we get from inviting another person into our struggle with pornography
  • What to do about “porn nightmares”

Sprint Coaching for Porn Addiction
Are you getting stuck? I want to help you. I started offering sprint coaching packages in June. Sprint coaching is the fastest way to get a recovery plan in place and start taking action. Send an email to matt@recoveredman.com and we’ll set up a free 15-min call to see if sprint coaching is right for you.

Resources:
Covenant Eyes is a filtering and accountability software, multi platform, multi device filter and tracker. There is a family price even to protect your whole family. Decrease the hesitation. If you have listened to this show for any length and have had a reset you NEED a filter. To get a month free use my link at http://pornfreeradio.com/EYES.

040 Getting Started Pt 1: Hitting Rock Bottom

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33800628_sOur first in a three-part series on Getting Started is all about hitting rock bottom and how your darkest moment can be a great gift in your recovery.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • What it means to hit rock bottom
  • Three powerful things it does for us
  • How hitting rock bottom can jump start recovery

Sprint Coaching for Porn Addiction
Are you getting stuck? I want to help you. I started offering sprint coaching packages in June. Sprint coaching is the fastest way to get a recovery plan in place and start taking action. Send an email to matt@recoveredman.com and we’ll set up a free 15-min call to see if sprint coaching is right for you.

Resources:
Covenant Eyes is a filtering and accountability software, multi platform, multi device filter and tracker. There is a family price even to protect your whole family. Decrease the hesitation. If you have listened to this show for any length and have had a reset you NEED a filter. To get a month free use my link at http://pornfreeradio.com/EYES.

039 Avoiding The Porn Checkout Line

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23015245_sYou ever wonder why stores place candy by the checkout counter? James Clear wrote a recent article on this very subject. His simple premise explains what selling candy bars can teach you about building habits. This connection is particularly relevant when discussing porn addiction.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • What we can learn at the grocery store about our porn addiction
  • How porn (and porn addiction) has become easier to acquire
  • Three ways you can use reverse engineering to quit porn

Sprint Coaching for Porn Addiction
Are you getting stuck? I want to help you. I started offering sprint coaching packages in June. Sprint coaching is the fastest way to get a recovery plan in place and start taking action. Send an email to matt@recoveredman.com and we’ll set up a free 15-min call to see if sprint coaching is right for you.

Resources:
Covenant Eyes is a filtering and accountability software, multi platform, multi device filter and tracker. There is a family price even to protect your whole family. Decrease the hesitation. If you have listened to this show for any length and have had a reset you NEED a filter. To get a month free use my link at http://pornfreeradio.com/EYES.

038 Where Are You Moving?

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5423388_sIf we’ve left the country where porn controls our life, how can we still live in our old house there? For many the desire to change is followed by this struggle. We have packed up and moved for good and yet we still want to go back and try and live in our old house. We want to revisit old neighborhood and relive old patterns. Matt just completed an actual move so the metaphor is top of mind for our journey out of porn.

In this episode you’ll learn:

Sprint Coaching for Porn Addiction
Are you getting stuck? I want to help you. I am offering monthly sprint coaching packages starting June 1, 2015. Sprint coaching is the fastest way to get a recovery plan in place and start taking action. Send an email to matt@recoveredman.com and we’ll set up a free 15-min call to see if sprint coaching is right for you.

Resources:
Covenant Eyes is a filtering and accountability software, multi platform, multi device filter and tracker. There is a family price even to protect your whole family. Decrease the hesitation. If you have listened to this show for any length and have had a reset you NEED a filter. To get a month free use my link at http://pornfreeradio.com/EYES.

Transcript: Transcript for this episode will be available soon.

Leave a comment below or email me directly- matt(at)pornfreeradio.com.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out.

And by all means hit the LIKE box on this post for our new Pornfree Radio Facebook Page

037 The Fastest Way To Freedom

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thewayLooking back at my recovery process, I wouldn’t change much. The missteps and relapses help me strengthen my plan. I learned a lot from my mistakes. But I realize now there was something in those early days that I could of done which would of shaved years off of the process. Mind you it’s not something easy. But if you can put in place and keep it, you’re recovery will immediately go to the next level.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • What’s the fastest way to freedom
  • The 4 essential things you get from working with someone with recovery experience
  • Places you can look for help
  • Why consistency is key in the early years

Sprint Coaching for Porn Addiction
Are you getting stuck? I want to help you. I am offering monthly sprint coaching packages starting June 1, 2015. Sprint coaching is the fastest way to get a recovery plan in place and start taking action. Send an email to matt@recoveredman.com and we’ll set up a free 15-min call to see if sprint coaching is right for you.

Resources:
Covenant Eyes is a filtering and accountability software, multi platform, multi device filter and tracker. There is a family price even to protect your whole family. Decrease the hesitation. If you have listened to this show for any length and have had a reset you NEED a filter. To get a month free use my link at http://pornfreeradio.com/EYES.

Transcript: Transcript for this episode will be available soon.

Leave a comment below or email me directly- matt(at)pornfreeradio.com.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out.

And by all means hit the LIKE box on this post for our new Pornfree Radio Facebook Page

Top 10 Life Hacks for Overcoming Porn Addiction
Get my favorite tips in a convenient checklist format



We value your privacy. Your email will never be shared. Emails are sent from matt@recoveredman.com.

036 Finding Your Motivation

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8309751_sPornfree Radio is for motivated guys who want to quit looking at porn. But how do you find motivation? Are there any bad motivations for quitting porn? Why does it help to get specific about what your primary motivation is?

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • What is a Singular Motivating Purpose?
  • What are the 2 key elements needed to define a motivation
  • What goes into defining a strong motivation
  • The motivation formula:

    Today, I am [DOING THIS ACTION] in order to [PRODUCE THIS VALUABLE RESULT].

I’m still thinking about Episode 35 last week with Craig Perra.
The Mindful Habit Program to End Porn and Sex Addiction is Craig Perra’s online program. It’s a system that once you learn, you can use for the rest of your life in your recovery. It includes videos, guides/exercises, weekly support calls, a member forum, and a 1-on-1 session with Craig. Use my affiliate link to sign up.

I am affiliate for The Mindful Habit. The links on my site to The Mindful Habit are affiliate links. Meaning if you sign up, I will earn a modest commission at no additional cost to you.

Top 10 Life Hacks for Overcoming Porn Addiction
Get my favorite tips in a convenient checklist format



We value your privacy. Your email will never be shared. Emails are sent from matt@recoveredman.com.

Sprint Coaching for Porn Addiction
Are you getting stuck? I want to help you. I am offering monthly sprint coaching packages starting June 1, 2015. Sprint coaching is the fastest way to get a recovery plan in place and start taking action. Send an email to matt@recoveredman.com and we’ll set up a free 15-min call to see if sprint coaching is right for you.

Resources:

Transcript: Transcript for this episode will be available soon.

Leave a comment below or email me directly- matt(at)pornfreeradio.com.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out.

And by all means hit the LIKE box on this post for our new Pornfree Radio Facebook Page

 

035 Rethinking 12 Step With Craig Perra From The Mindful Habit

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craigCraig Perra, founder of The Mindful Habit, returns for a powerful conversation about 12 Step groups and the disease model for treating addiction. Together, we discuss some of the pros and cons of 12 step groups and the alternatives.

Craig joined Pornfree Radio in episode 016 Escaping Porn Addiction and episode 017 How To Stop Objectifying and Oogling. Since then he filmed a reality tv show for Lifetime and has continued his 1-on-1 coaching and recovery program.

The Mindful Habit
The Mindful Habit Program to End Porn and Sex Addiction is Craig’s online program. It’s a system that once you learn, you can use for the rest of your life in your recovery. It includes videos, guides/exercises, weekly support calls, a member forum, and a 1-on-1 session with Craig. Use my affiliate link to sign up.

I am affiliate for The Mindful Habit. The links on my site to The Mindful Habit are affiliate links. Meaning if you sign up, I will earn a modest commission at no additional cost to you.

Resources:

Top 10 Life Hacks for Overcoming Porn Addiction
Get my favorite tips in a convenient checklist format



We value your privacy. Your email will never be shared. Emails are sent from matt@recoveredman.com.

Transcript: Transcript for this episode will be available soon.

Leave a comment below or email me directly- matt(at)pornfreeradio.com.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out.

And by all means hit the LIKE box on this post for our new Pornfree Radio Facebook Page

 

034 Hope for the Porn Addicted Christian

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12550409_sChristian guys make up the majority of my audience and Christians have some compelling reasons to want to eliminate porn from their lives. It’s in direct conflict with the teachings of Jesus.

In Jesus’ most famous sermon he said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Jesus equates this act of looking at a women with lustful intent as being the same as breaking the 7th commandment, “You shall not commit adultery.”

But knowing what’s right and doing something about are two different things.

Christian guys bring some strengths to our porn free community and also some blind spots. I cover them both here and have some advice for taking action.

This episode continues the conversation about spirituality and porn addiction. Listen to Episode 33: Hope for the Porn Addicted Agnostic to hear part 1.

Resources:
Covenant Eyes is a filtering and accountability software, multi platform, multi device filter and tracker. There is a family price even to protect your whole family. Decrease the hesitation. If you have listened to this show for any length and have had a reset you NEED a filter. To get a month free use my link at http://pornfreeradio.com/EYES.

Verses used in this episode:

Matthew 5:27-30 (ESV)
“You have heard that it was said,‘You shall not commit adultery…’

1 Corinthians 6:18  (ESV)
Flee from sexual immorality…

John 13:6-9 (NIV)
He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?”…

“What’s the one piece of advice you would give to someone struggling with porn addiction?”

Stephen Kuhn is a blogger (Belt of Truth) and author of the book 10 Lies Men Believe About Porn.

Transcript: Transcript for this episode will be available soon.

Leave a comment below or email me directly- matt(at)pornfreeradio.com.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out.

And by all means hit the LIKE box on this post for our new Pornfree Radio Facebook Page

033 Hope for the Porn Addicted Agnostic

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38204002_sWhen I started this podcast I wasn’t sure who would join this community and go on this ride for me. I had been mostly doing this stuff with in my church and was used to working with Christian guys. But a good number of downloads came from guys who considered themselves non-religious.

Now the reasons for wanting to quit porn for these guys were totally similar to the church guys. They felt out of control, the porn was impacting their relationships either with girlfriends or wives. It was causing ED issues in the bedroom. Or it was impacting their ability to date and build relationships with women.

Now I noticed some positives these guys brought to the community. I also noticed some blind spots. No mater what word you use; Agnostic, Atheist, Skeptic, Free Thinker, etc., there is hope for you to quit porn.

Update:
Here is the sermon I reference is this episode.
A Promise of Hope – Timothy Keller  (July 28, 2014)

 

Resources:
For the past 13 years since I have been working on my recovery, I have been asked the same question countless times. “Can you recommend an Internet filter?” Read the answer here —> Best Internet Filter: Covenant Eyes


Transcript: 
Transcript for this episode will be available soon.

Leave a comment below or email me directly- matt(at)pornfreeradio.com.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out.

And by all means hit the LIKE box on this post for our new Pornfree Radio Facebook Page

032 Am I A Porn Addict?

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26609654_sThe culture tells us porn addiction is made up. But we know different. There is something about this behavior that we have grown tired of. It is not serving us well.

In this episode, Matt goes through a simple self-assessment of porn addiction. He also shares a simple definition of addiction that may change the way you define it.

Resources:
Assessment tool created by Paula Hall, Author of Understanding & Treating Sex Addiction (Routledge, 2012) and founder of sexaddictionhelp.co.uk.

Also see:
http://www.mensfitness.com/women/sex-tips/quiz-are-you-addicted-to-porn

And for the free video to help with fantasizing and sexualizing women in public, visit RecoveredMan.com.

Transcript:
Transcript for this episode will be available soon.

Leave a comment below or email me directly- matt(at)pornfreeradio.com.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out.

And by all means hit the LIKE box on this post for our new Pornfree Radio Facebook Page!  

031 The Turning Point In My Recovery

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15563990_sGetting caught downloading pornography, by my wife, was not my rock bottom. In this episode, I tell the story of the most significant and scary night in my recovery. My own personal turning point.

Guys, I am happy to be back after my hiatus. New episodes are coming each and every Monday along with new content and ways to connect.

Resources:
If you want to take action this week and email me the ways your life has become out of control or unmanageable with porn, use this address, matt (at) pornfreeradio.com. I respond to all emails personally.

And for the free video to help with fantasizing and sexualizing women in public, visit RecoveredMan.com.

Transcript:
Transcript for this episode will be available soon.

Leave a comment below or email me directly- matt(at)pornfreeradio.com.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out.

And by all means hit the LIKE box on this post for our new Pornfree Radio Facebook Page!  

030 Going Porn Free in 2015

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pf2015_webScrew resolutions! You need a plan to go porn free in 2015. This episode is all about giving you steps to go 100% porn free for the WHOLE year.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • The 4 steps to creating a simple plan for 2015
  • Why sprints are important when goal setting
  • Why we have to make a habit to break a habit
  • What 2 NEW habits are critical to go porn free in 2015
Update: Go Porn Free in 2016 Video Training
Free Video, checklist, and monthly worksheet download.



We value your privacy. Your email will never be shared. Emails are sent from matt@recoveredman.com.

Resources:

Transcript for this episode will be available soon.

Leave a comment below or email me directly- matt(at)pornfreeradio.com.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out.

And by all means hit the LIKE box on this post for our new Pornfree Radio Facebook Page!  

029 The Wrestler

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wrestler_editThis is NOT a review of the 2008 Mickey Rourke film, The Wrestler. Instead, it’s a metaphor of the porn free life. Matt digs into the parallels between our journey and the dedication required in the sport of wrestling.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • About Matt’s surprising record as a high school wrestler
  • Why he loved wrestling
  • Why to be a great wrestler you need to be part of team
  • The 4 Dedications of a Wrestler

Resources:

Transcript:
Transcript for this episode will be available soon.

Leave a comment below or email me directly- matt(at)pornfreeradio.com.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out.

And by all means hit the LIKE box on this post for our new Pornfree Radio Facebook Page!  

 

028 3-Day Ditch and Porn Fantasies in the Bedroom

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MailbagMatt hits the listener mailbag in this episode tackling questions about getting over the 3-day hump and how to deal with porn fantasies in the bedroom.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • A quick definition of a habit
  • How you can disrupt habits even when they seem ingrained or physical
  • 4 ideas for getting past the 3-day ditch
  • 6 ways to counter porn fantasies during intimacy with your partner

Transcript:
Click Here to Download the Transcript for Episode 028 (PDF)

Leave a comment below or email me directly- matt(at)pornfreeradio.com.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out.

And by all means hit the LIKE box on this post for our new Pornfree Radio Facebook Page!  

027 How Idiots Track Success

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2-days-without-a-nuclear-accidentWe have all been guilty of defining success solely in terms of the number of porn free days we have.

In this episode, we discuss 5 alternative ways you can measure your success in overcoming porn addiction.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • How Matt plans for unaccountable time during holiday vacations
  • HITS (How Idiots Track Success)
  • Why tracking porn free days is an incomplete measurement of your recovery
  • 5 additional ways you can measure success
Actual calendar from June 2000 (Shelley Hitz)

Actual calendar from June 2000 (Shelley Hitz)

 

Resources:

Transcript:
Click Here to Download the Transcript for Episode 027 (PDF)

Leave a comment below or email me directly- matt(at)pornfreeradio.com.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out.

And by all means hit the LIKE box on this post for our new Pornfree Radio Facebook Page!  

026 Shame and Porn Addiction

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28225382_sYour problem might not be porn, it might be shame. Shame keeps us isolated and in the dark. In this environment, porn addiction grows like mold on forgotten left overs in the back of the fridge.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • A simple definition for shame
  • Why it has little to do with religion or beliefs
  • How it perpetuates porn addiction
  • Why it keeps us isolated
  • What the antidote is for shame

Transcript:
Click Here to Download the Transcript for Episode 026 (PDF)

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out. I realize this is a porn-themed podcast, so if you don’t want to leave a public review that’s okay. Just leave a rating. Also tell a friend who might benefit from it.

And by all means hit the LIKE box on this post for our new Pornfree Radio Facebook Page!

025 The Pornification of Culture: Surprising Advocates

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In this episode, Matt shares some surprising advocates in the mainstream with strong opinions about the harm of porn in today’s culture.

Resources:

 

Bonus Content:

The Bus – Written and produced by Nick P Ross

Transcript:
Click Here to Download the Transcript for Episode 025 (PDF)

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out. I realize this is a porn-themed podcast, so if you don’t want to leave a public review that’s okay. Just leave a rating. Also tell a friend who might benefit from it.

And by all means hit the LIKE box on this post for our new Pornfree Radio Facebook Page!

024 Creativity and Recovery with Ben Fraser, Creator of Brick House

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Ben Fraser

Ben Fraser – Twitter: @brickhousetv

In this episode, we discuss the relationship between creativity and recovery with Ben Fraser, film maker and creator of the Brick House Web Series about quitting porn.

Ben shares about his own journey out of porn addiction and how he turned his struggle into a web series that features comedy, music, dancing, and puppets.

Resources:

 


Brick House – Episode 1 – The Question

Brick House – Episode 2 – The Voice 
Brick House – Episode 3  – The Support Group

Transcript:
Click Here to Download the Transcript for Episode 024 (PDF)

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out. I realize this is a porn-themed podcast, so if you don’t want to leave a public review that’s okay. Just leave a rating. Also tell a friend who might benefit from it.

And by all means hit the LIKE box on this post for our new Pornfree Radio Facebook Page!

023 Our Greatest Trap in Life

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Our greatest trap in li11301754_sfe comes from a quote by Henri Nouwen. Hint: it’s not porn or lust. This trap can undermine the recovery work you are doing and actually perpetuate your porn addiction.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • What the human heart’s greatest need is
  • What Fr. Henri Nouwen calls our greatest trap
  • How this trap undermines our recovery and perpetuates our addictive behavior
  • Why Nouwen’s Book Life of the Beloved is meaningful for those who want to live pornfree

Transcript:
Click Here to Download the Transcript for Episode 023 (PDF)

Leave a comment below or email me directly- matt(at)pornfreeradio.com.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out.

And by all means hit the LIKE box on this post for our new Pornfree Radio Facebook Page!  

022 The Biggest Warning Sign of a Relapse

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17641681_sThere is one thing that precedes every relapse with porn. It’s not a powerful trigger, a stressful day at work, free porn on your hotel TV, or a web link sent from a coworker. It’s an internal action we CHOOSE.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • About the choice you always make before acting out
  • How this action undermines active recovery
  • How you will never be free from porn if you don’t interrupt this pattern

Transcript:
Click Here to Download the Transcript for Episode 022 (PDF)

Leave a comment below or email me directly- matt(at)pornfreeradio.com.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out.

And by all means hit the LIKE box on this post for our new Pornfree Radio Facebook Page!  

021 Feedback: Forgiveness, Nostalgia, and Voyeurism

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MailbagThis week we respond to Pornfree Radio listener feedback from Episode 19 and Episode 20. I am traveling today and recorded this episode on my iPhone with a microphone. Let me know what you think about the audio quality.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • What the “full pardon” metaphor in Episode 19 means
  • What role forgiveness plays in our recovery
  • How nostalgia may be a driver in the celebrity triggers discussed in Episode 20
  • Why the child part of us may be the reason we respond to fetishes like voyeurism

“I have found all your topics helpful I wasn’t aware of how much smutty tv, news, social media I had let into my life. I have cut everything out but FB… I’m in a 12 step group now and I no longer go to work hating myself for what I did the night before.”
Pornfree Radio Listener from Facebook

Transcript:
Click Here to Download the Transcript for Episode 021 (PDF)

Leave a comment below or email me directly- matt(at)pornfreeradio.com.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out.

And by all means hit the LIKE box on this post for our new Pornfree Radio Facebook Page!  

020 Celebrity Nudes: How To Avoid Powerful Triggers

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hollywoodThis show is ripped from recent headlines. The internet almost shut down a few weeks back when hackers released nude photos of a group of famous celebrities. This got me to thinking about our response as people committed to being pornfree. First, how should we think of this. Second, how can we avoid these powerful triggers.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • What we’re AFTER on Pornfree Radio
  • Why someone might listen again from the beginning
  • How Matt had a red-carpet relapse many years ago
  • Why God’s image is important when we think about other people’s bodies
  • Why objectifying celebrity nudes is like shoplifting
  • How viewing these images are violations and show a lack of empathy
  • 5 ways to avoid the powerful trigger of celebrity nudity
  • Which social media site I gave an ‘A’ to and which sites failed his porn trigger risk assessment
  • What action you can take if you had celebrity-triggered relapse

Transcript:
Click Here to Download the Transcript for Episode 020 (PDF)

Leave a comment below or email me directly- matt(at)pornfreeradio.com.

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out.

And by all means hit the LIKE box on this post for our new Pornfree Radio Facebook Page!  

019 My Wife Caught Me Looking At Porn. Now What?!?!

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26609654_sAfter being caught with porn, or after a relapse, how you talk to your wife about it could be the difference in saving your relationship and losing it.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • Why we need to be ruthlessly honest with our wife
  • Why a full and accurate confession is necessary
  • What your job is when answering her questions
  • 4 Important things to NOT do under any circumstances when coming clean with your wife
  • Why being concrete and concise actually builds trust

Transcript:
Click Here to Download the Transcript for Episode 019 (PDF)

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes.

If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out. I realize this is a porn-themed podcast, so if you don’t want to leave a public review that’s okay. Just leave a rating. Also tell a friend who might benefit from it.

And by all means hit the LIKE box on this post for our new Pornfree Radio Facebook Page!

018 Pornfree and Single

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3376474_lIf you’re single does it matter if you keep pornfree? In this episode, Matt tackles the issue of porn and the single guy.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • What happened to the lost Pornfree Radio theme song
  • What one question Matt had to ask himself after being married and in recovery
  • 4 Reasons to stay Pornfree as a single person

“Anything worth doing is worth doing badly.”
–G.K. Chesterton

Transcript:
Click Here to Download the Transcript for Episode 018 (PDF)

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out. I realize this is a porn-themed podcast, so if you don’t want to leave a public review that’s okay. Just leave a rating. Also tell a friend who might benefit from it.

And by all means hit the LIKE box on this post for our new Pornfree Radio Facebook Page!

017 How To Stop Objectifying and Oogling with Craig Perra of The Mindful Habit

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C’mon bro, you gotta’ listen to this episode!

Craig Perra, life coach and founder of The Mindful Habit method of porn and sex addiction recovery, returns to teach a lesson from his exclusive online course on the stubborn habit of objectifying and oogling.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • How to simply define a habit
  • Why Matt needs to be more mindful on the morning commute
  • What a-ha moment came to Craig through Hannibal Lector
  • Why it’s important to become aware of what we are oogling (and what we are missing)
  • What three steps you can use to stop the habit of objectifying and oogling
  • Why we need tools in the fight against porn addiction

Craig was generous enough to share an awareness exercise on objectifying and oogling.  This is the same download he provides his paying clients.

Download How To Stop Objectifying & Oogling (pdf)

Working with Craig:
Use my affiliate link for The Mindful Habit to purchase the video program. I have personally checked out the modules and I recommend the video plan because it includes weekly webinars with direct access to Craig. Awesome stuff!

Resources:

Transcript:
Click Here to Download the Transcript for Episode 017 (PDF)

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out. I realize this is a porn-themed podcast, so if you don’t want to leave a public review that’s okay. Just leave a rating. Also tell a friend who might benefit from it.

And by all means hit the LIKE box on this post for our new Pornfree Radio Facebook Page!

016 Escaping Porn Addiction with Craig Perra of The Mindful Habit

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CraigThis is the first of two dynamic episodes with Craig Perra, life coach and founder of The Mindful Habit method of porn and sex addiction recovery.

We start with Craig’s beginnings, being exposed to porn at age 8, through an out-of-control porn and sex addiction in his late 30s. His escape from porn addiction came after getting fired from his corporate job. With the support of his wife, Michelle, and some aggressive coaching with George Collins he put his life back together. Now he is helping others do the same.

Resources:

Working with Craig:
Use my affiliate link for The Mindful Habit to purchase the video program. I have personally checked out the modules and I recommend the video plan because it includes weekly webinars with direct access to Craig. Awesome stuff!

 

Bonus:


Craig and Michelle Perra on Katie Couric 2014

Transcript:
Click Here to Download the Transcript for Episode 016 (PDF)

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out. I realize this is a porn-themed podcast, so if you don’t want to leave a public review that’s okay. Just leave a rating. Also tell a friend who might benefit from it.

And by all means hit the LIKE box on this post for our new Pornfree Radio Facebook Page!

015 Porn! Recorded Live in Indianapolis

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Greetings from IndianapolisThere are things porn addicts know coming into recovery and more importantly things they need to know. This episode was from a workshop with Matt Dobschuetz recorded live for ministry leaders in Indianapolis, Indiana on August 9, 2014.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • The one thing porn addicts know on some level when they ask for help
  • Things they don’t know, but desperately need to
  • How leaders can really help
  • Ideas for getting deeper in understanding your pain

“If you’re a porn addict, believe me, the last thing you need to hear is that you’re a sinner. We already know that. We know that it hurts us and it prevents us from becoming fully human and experiencing true freedom. We get it. The one thing we don’t know is that we’re free to let go of shame. If it’s true that nothing we do will separate us from the love of God, then that has to work both ways. It means that even if we are 10 years sober we are no more loved by God than if we looked at porn an hour ago. Right away, there’s no need to feel shame if is separated from all these ideas of who you are and whether God loves you.”

-Paul Robinson, blogger for XXXchurch.com and online recovery group leader

Resources:
In this episode, I quote Paul Robinson from an article that originally appeared on Christianity Today’s website called, The Article That Changed Everything, by Laura Leonard.

Transcript:
Click Here to Download the Transcript for Episode 015 (PDF)

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out. I realize this is a porn-themed podcast, so if you don’t want to leave a public review that’s okay. Just leave a rating. Also tell a friend who might benefit from it.

And by all means hit the LIKE box on this post for our new Pornfree Radio Facebook Page!

014 Seven Things To Know When Starting a Support Group for Porn Addicts

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Awsomness Inside

Sign on the door of my small group at church last year.

“It’s so great you’re helping *those* people.” Sometimes people will say that at church. They’re trying to compliment me, because they think that having a porn related podcast or having a church support group related to sexual issues is kind of a noble thing. And they see the people who go to that are not people like themselves.

But I help others because it helps me continue to walk out the journey. So when  they talk about *those* people, they don’t realize that they’re speaking directly to one of *those* people.

As you start to look around in your own journey and recovery, you start seeing others who are a little farther behind who are making the same mistakes you did. And you start getting a vision for helping them.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • Working on your own journey is a necessary component to being a good servant leader.
  • Investing in others will help you grow.
  • The steps needed to build an effective group.
  • Tips on how to lead with confidence and keep people safe.
  • Those who attend may not be the people you expect.
  • Building a group, like recovery, takes time.

Resources and links mentioned in this episode:

Right click here to download the mp3 file to your desktop.

“Listened to episode 10, of your podcast (Four Porn Pitfalls With Popular Media.) Wow. Excellent stuff. Thanks for being so honest and open about your experiences and struggles. It would have been easy to make this a finger-wagging type of podcast, but since you genuinely shared from where you are and where you’ve been it came off more genuine and inspiring. Instead of receiving a list of movies or shows “we” should not watch, you did a great job of explaining how you came to your decisions and offered some honest questions that we all need to ask ourselves in our journeys. Thanks again.” -Jason

Transcript:
Click Here to Download the Transcript for Episode 014 (PDF)

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out. I realize this is a porn-themed podcast, so if you don’t want to leave a public review that’s okay. Just leave a rating. Also tell a friend who might benefit from it.

And by all means hit the LIKE box on this post for our new Pornfree Radio Facebook Page!

013 Top 5 Benefits From Helping Others With Porn Addiction

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Help!It may seem counter-intuitive to those looking for help with porn addiction. But early in my own recovery I started a support group and I actually helped myself. Could you start a group in your area in the next year?

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. – John 15:16

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • How helping others takes the focus off our self
  • How it creates a new motivation to stay clean
  • The benefits of togetherness
  • How we have an opportunity to ask for help
  • How we grow as leaders by helping others
  • Why helping others brings meaning to our journey
  • What your true calling is in recovery
  • What next step you can take this week

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please rate it and review at iTunes because that helps get the word out. I realize this is a porn-themed podcast, so if you don’t want to leave a public review that’s okay. Just leave a rating. Also tell a friend who might benefit from it.

And by all means hit the LIKE box on this post for our new Pornfree Radio Facebook Page! Yes welcome to 2014 Matt. I know, I know.

012 Is Masturbation Without Porn Bad?

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800 lb GorillaThe M-Word aka Masturbation is the  800 lb gorilla in the room in any conversation about pornography. Most people with a porn problem have a strong masturbation habit. So what happens with masturbation when we shut off the porn? Is it bad? Good? Neutral?

“I have the right to do anything,” you say–but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”–but not everything is constructive. –1 Cor 10:23

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • How to think about masturbation apart from shame
  • Why the question, “Is masturbation without porn bad?” is the wrong question to ask
  • 5 reasons masturbation is NOT beneficial for people leaving porn
  • 5 practical tips in dealing with masturbation

BONUS: C.S. Lewis on Masturbation
“For me the real evil of masturbation would be that it takes an appetite which, in lawful use, leads the individual out of himself to complete (and correct) his own personality in that of another (and finally in children and even grandchildren) and turns it back; sends the man back into the prison of himself, there to keep a harem of imaginary brides.

“And this harem, once admitted, works against his ever getting out and really uniting with a real woman.

“For the harem is always accessible, always subservient, calls for no sacrifices or adjustments, and can be endowed with erotic and psychological attractions which no woman can rival.

“Among those shadowy brides he is always adored, always the perfect lover; no demand is made on his unselfishness, no mortification ever imposed on his vanity.

“In the end, they become merely the medium through which he increasingly adores himself. . . . After all, almost the main work of life is to come out of our selves, out of the little dark prison we are all born in. Masturbation is to be avoided as all things are to be avoided which retard this process. The danger is that of coming to love the prison.”

– Personal Letter From Lewis to Keith Masson (found in The Collected Letters of C.S. Lewis, Volume 3)

These quotes originally appeared in the post, C. S. Lewis on Lust, Women, and Masturbation by Matt Fradd.

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011 Technology and Porn with Luke Gilkerson of Covenant Eyes

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Luke GilkersonThis episode we are joined by Luke Gilkerson, Internet Community Manager for Covenant Eyes. Luke is perhaps the most prolific blogger on the subject of porn and recovery on the internet with 1500+ posts. In this episode, we start off talking about the relationship between technology and porn. We end by discussing the key elements of quality accountability relationships in overcoming porn addiction.

In my last 13 years of porn addiction recovery I have been called by dozens of guys. The conversation always starts like this, Do you know some software for x operating system or for this device? It seems more and more guys are identifying their struggle with porn as a technology problem.

In this episode you’ll find out about:

  • How porn is a technology problem, but it’s also relational and spiritual.
  • How taking the first step with getting some technology help is the easy step.
  • How we were created as human beings to be together.
  • The definition of accountability and what it is not.
  • The case for accountability to a be a lifestyle, not a last resort.
  • Why you don’t graduate from accountability and the need for others.
  • What the online disinhibition effect is.
  • The background of Covenant Eyes.
  • The connection between software accountability and meaningful relationships.

2 Key Elements of Quality Accountability Relationships

1. Real Friendship
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. (Proverbs 17:17 ESV)

  • A sense of comradery
  • True friend through thick and thin
  • With us in adversity

2. Wisdom
The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out. (Proverbs 20:5 ESV)

  • We cannot see to bottom of our own hearts
  • We need wisdom
  • “A man of wisdom is able to go the bottom of someone else’s heart and draw up the things that are really going on, the real motivations.”

Accountability needs both of those elements. You need to have a genuine connection, friendship,a sense of togetherness and brotherhood combined with wisdom. A wisdom where this person can actually get to the root of us. They can help us see what we can’t see in ourselves.

We are never truly free until we are free to be in vulnerable, true, face-to-face relationships with other people.

Start With What You Have

1. Is there a person in your life who you would consider a true spiritual brother (or if you’re a woman, a sister)?

  • Get together and ramp up your relationship in the wisdom department
  • Get good books about how to get to the heart of things
  • Find teachings and other resources you can discuss
  • Partner together to be experts in one another’s heart

2. Is there someone in your life who is wise who can see to the core of you? Maybe an older person in your life.

  • Build up your relationship in the friendship department
  • Go over to their house for dinner
  • Get to know their family
  • Hang out together
  • Do things to build solidarity and friendship

And If you don’t have any one in your life like either of those things, it shows how isolated you are. It’s time to get into communities where you can do that.

This is not a one-time thing. You need to develop a lifestyle of creating these relationships. Sometimes you have friends for a season or you move and have to start over. But you still need accountability and you need to work at creating it.

Some of this content appeared originally in an eBook called Porn-Free Church,  see pages 91-93 by Luke Gilkerson.

Other Resources and links mentioned in this episode include:

  • Covenant Eyes Blog
  • Luke and his wife Trisha blog at IntoxicatedOnLife.com
  • Free Christian E-book: Your Brain on Porn by Luke Gilkerson
  • One Anothers in the New Testament of the Bible (see 139 results)
  • And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. (Hebrews 10:24-25 ESV)
  • But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. (Hebrews 3:13 ESV)

Transcript:
Click Here to Download the Transcript for Episode 011 (PDF)

Big thanks to Lightning Atkinson for producing this episode.

Disclosure: I am affiliate for Covenant Eyes Internet Accountability and Filtering software. Read more here about why I recommend it.