112 – Avoiding Failure

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Are you avoiding failure in your life? Are you trying to escape negative thoughts, feelings, or emotions?

This pattern of avoidance could be fueling your porn addiction and at the same time thwarting your recovery.

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111 – The Top 3 Lies Partners Believe with Hope Ray

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Hope Ray is back! In this episode, we discuss the top 3 lies that partners believe when their husbands or boyfriend’s struggle with porn.

Hope first joined us in episodes 70 and 74 of Pornfree Radio. She specializes in working with partners and couples who are healing from the effects of porn and sex addiction.

Free Download from Hope
Partner’s Guide to Writing An Impact Letter by Hope Ray


REV Group Coaching: April Groups

REV group coaching is weekly group coaching for men. It’s confidential with high accountability. We meet through secure video conference.

Each group is led personally by me. And I bring my experience, coaching and leading men for over 12 years on every call.

Registration is closed. But a waiting list is available in case a spot opens up. Next REV will be July 2017.

Apply Now

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110 – Do I have to hit rock bottom to recover?

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In this episode, I unpack the good and bad news about hitting rock bottom.

The bad news is few people will be able to porn free unless they have hit rock bottom.
But I also have some really good news…

I also answer two burning questions from listeners.

 

REV Group Coaching: April Groups
REV group coaching is weekly group coaching for men. It’s confidential with high accountability. We meet through secure video conference.

Each group is led personally by me. And I bring my experience, coaching and leading men for over 12 years on every call.

Registration is now open for April groups. Register deadline: 3/24/2017.

Apply Now

1-on-1 Coaching

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Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

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109 – What we live for is more important than what we give up

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My inbox is full (again!) Time to answer your burning questions.

  • Are there any porn free sexual acts?
  • Do you have any advice or specific tips for those of us who wrestle with same-sex pornography?
  • How can I move forward with abstinent dating?
  • Help! I’ve been struggling to find a decent consequence for relapse.
  • Is it unreasonable for me to want to see my boyfriend’s phone?
  • What to do with extreme temptation?
  • And more!

Rev Group Coaching: April Groups

RELAPSEREVOLUTIONGROUPBonoREV group coaching is weekly group coaching for men. It’s confidential with high accountability. We meet through secure video conference.

Each group is led personally by me. And I bring my experience, coaching and leading men for over 12 years on every call.

Registration is now open for April groups. Register deadline: 3/24/2017.

Find Out More

1-on-1 Coaching

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108 – 110 Days Porn Free While Studying For The Bar Exam

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In this episode, we open the Pornfree mail bag, read your letters and answer questions like:

  • Any suggestions for parents of someone who doesn’t seem to want to fight to be porn free?
  • Do you have any advice for a depressed, porn-addicted teenager?
  • How can a recovering porn addict can engage in good self care at different phases of life?
  • Is it normal to be scared to give up porn?
  • How should Christians think about participation in a 12-step program alongside their faith practice?

Rev Group Coaching: April Groups

RELAPSEREVOLUTIONGROUPBonoREV group coaching is weekly group coaching for men. It’s confidential with high accountability. We meet through secure video conference.

Each group is led personally by me. And I bring my experience, coaching and leading men for over 12 years on every call.

Registration is now open for April Groups.
Find Out More

1-on-1 Coaching

Support Pornfree Radio

Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

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107 – Back 2 Basics: The 7-Day Porn Free Plan

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In this episode, you’ll learn how to create a hyper focused 7-day recovery plan. This continues our “Back 2 Basics” series targeted at new listeners.

“To go porn free for a month, you have to go porn free for a week.”

The 7-Day Porn Free Plan

  1. On Sunday night, get a piece of blank paper or journal and your calendar.
  2. Answer the 10 writing prompts below for the following week.
  3. Schedule all recovery activities or actions you need to take on your weekly calendar.
  4. Commit your week to the person you identify.
  5. Each day, track your recovery activities and any powerful feelings.
  6. At the end the week have a F.A.S.T.T. Check-In with your partner.
  7. Commit the following week.

Weekly Writing Prompts:

1.  If I could live this week over again, I’d…

Fast forward 7 Days and think about this week from a future perspective. What would of made it great? What activities would you of like to have done? Who would you have liked to connect with?

2. Things I get to enjoy this week…

What do you get to this week? Where is the fun? What are you looking forward to?

3.) This week, I am letting go of…

What habit, mindset, or behavior are you actively letting go of this week? What action do you need to take?

Working on the computer at night. (Go to bed at the same time as wife.)
Edging with YouTube.  (Block YouTube on all devices.)
Shame. (Text accountability partner whenever I feel shame feelings.)


4.) and moving towards…

What habit or mindset are you moving towards. What action do you need to take?

Connection with wife. (Schedule and plan date night.)
Morning Routine.  (Set 2 calendar appts this week for morning routine.)
Daily affirmation.  (Read Your Why each morning first thing before you get out of bed.)

5.) I am aware of these threats to my sobriety this week…

Identify 3 threats this week. Threats are situations that require recovery tools.

6.) Tools I will use this week to eliminate threats…

For each threat you identify, choose a tool that you can use to overcome.

Threat: Home alone Wednesday afternoon. Tool: Work at Starbucks or bookend time with texts to accountability partner.


7.) I will take care of myself with…

Identify at least one self care activity that you will put on your calendar for the week.


8.) If I have a slip, I will…

Choose a consequence for the week.

Give up an activity or device
Act of service


9.) If I stay porn free this week, I will celebrate with…

Create a small milestone reward.

Milkshake
A beer with a friend
Date night
Fancy coffee
A magazine


10.) I commit this week to…

Who can you commit your week to? Consider your spouse or accountability partner.

BONUS:
Include Your Why on the bottom of you 7-Day Plan.

 

Resources:

Register for Free Webinar: Building a 7-Day Porn Free Plan
Live: March 13th 7pm CT. Login through your computer or dial in.

1-on-1 Coaching

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Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

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106 – Back 2 Basics: F.A.S.T.T. Check-Ins

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Continuing our Back 2 Basics series, we review the tool of F.A.S.T.T. check-ins. This structured check-in process will anchor your recovery each week and improve your success.

This check-in format comes from Dr. Milton Magness. Its original use was for sex addicts and their partners after disclosure. However F.A.S.T.T. Check-ins provide a great framework for any kind of ongoing accountability.

The components of a F.A.S.T.T. Check-in include:

  • Feelings
  • Activities in Recovery
  • Slip Report (or Sobriety Check)
  • Threats
  • Tools

Resources:

1-on-1 Coaching

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105 – Back 2 Basics: Daily Tracking

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How can we measure the health of our recovery daily?

In this episode, I share a new tool for daily recovery tracking that was inspired by the National Hockey League (NHL).

This is an addition to our Back 2 Basics series for new listeners. See previous episodes, 092 – Back 2 Basics: Edging and 093 – Back 2 Basics: Morning Routine.

Pornfree Radio Recovery Tracker Interactive Spreadsheet (Google Doc)
Courtesy of Pornfree Community member, David
Get Spreadsheet Template (Google Doc)

Pornfree Radio Recovery Tracker Blank Calendar (PDF)
Download (PDF)

“You are either working on recovery or your working on relapse…”

– Anonymous

Recovery Activities (+1)

  • Phone Call
  • rTribe Check In
  • Morning Routine
  • Group Meeting
  • 1-on-1 Accountability Meeting
  • Counseling or Coaching Session
  • Reading Recovery Literature like the Big Book
  • Meditation
  • Listening to Recovery Podcasts
  • Active commitments defined in plan
  • Fitness
  • Other Self Care

Relapse Activities (-1)

  • Edging
  • Double Look
  • Click Bait
  • Prolonged Fantasy
  • Masturbation (if part of your plan)
  • Porn
  • Lying
  • No Recovery activities for the day

Resources

1-on-1 Coaching

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Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

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104 – How To Deal With Depression

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In this uncut, unedited episode of Pornfree Radio, I share 5 things that help me deal with depression.

At the end of the episode, I read “The Promises” from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Here is the full text…

The Promises
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us – sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them. – Alcoholics Anonymous p. 83-84

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103 – How To Take Massive Action

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Do you want to jumpstart your recovery this week? Take massive action.

Matt is joined by Steve, a Pornfree Radio listener, who shares the 10 actions he took last week.

10 Actions:
  1. Started listening to Pornfree Radio podcasts each day
  2. Called Covenant Eyes to block all internet browsing on phone
  3. Went back to recovery meeting
  4. Deleted questionable apps from phone.
  5. Set up weekly check-in with recovery group leader
  6. Started recovery workbook: Thirty Days to Hope & Freedom from Sexual Addiction by Milton S. Magness
  7. Set up weekly counseling
  8. Called local SA groups
  9. Listened to Your Brain on Porn author, Gary Wilson interviews (see The New Man and Integrity Restored podcasts)
  10. Listening to audio books and recovery literature on TuneIn

Steve also referenced blogger and podcaster, Michael Hyatt.

A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.
– Proverbs 22:3(NLT)

1-on-1 Coaching

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Thanks for all your ratings and reviews in iTunes. If you haven’t had a chance yet please subscribe in iTunes and leave a rating or review because that helps get the word out.

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